Who's This Legislative Dipshit?
Brian Stewart (R-Ashville) is a certain kind of troop politician.
Ohio State Representative Brian Stewart and I are similar in a lot in a lot of ways; namely we’re both mediocre white men with bad hairlines and we watched 9-11 live on tube televisions in high school.
Brian was a senior when I was a freshman. Though years apart, we’d both go on to enlist as Infantrymen in the United States Army, though thankfully I was smart enough to hit the eject button on that nonsense before an IED mangled me for life.
Stewart was hot enough with the bloodlust for Muslims that he actually deployed to Iraq, where American freedoms coincidentally aligned with the interests of our oil conglomerates.
How many random Iraqis has Rep. Stewart killed? These questions are rarely asked of our troops for obvious reasons. But even killing somebody for righteous reasons would be traumatic. What kind of crimes Rep. Stewart witnessed while deployed in Iraq is another discussion entirely.
However, Stewart isn’t like every other vet from your hometown who came back a little more … different … after defending freedoms overseas. Stewart came home and became a fancy lawyer with a degree from The Ohio State University, which would be the next logical step for a white man from rural Ohio with ambition to one day get into politics a formidable former troop.
Coincidentally enough he did make that jump in 2020, winning a contested Republican primary with 7,820 votes before trouncing the Democrat in a ruby red district.
Stewart, legislatively, will never accomplish anything as good as this tweet during the George Floyd protests when a couple windows got smashed and the business class decided to protect their glass with plywood:
Keep in mind that this dude saw literal war zones and yet this is what rattles him to his mayonnaise-caked core. The leap to Detroit is no coincidence; we all know what he really means, and he’s dumb enough not to understand how the synapses in his brain worked to produce such a statement. You can deduce every one of his political positions from it.
When I broached this topic with him on Twitter, he once again showed his disdain for people that live within Ohio’s economic powerhouses that small towns like Ashville:
Please scroll up again and look at the header photo so you can truly appreciate this man throwing around “wet blanket” as an insult.
I keep coming back to that tweet because it’s such a searing insight into how the reactionary mind works. Two weeks of Condados being boarded up, and this bozo from the sticks is yammering about “decades of work improving the city being undone in two weeks.”
Deep down, he has disdain for us because he’s a politician that can only find success in Applebees Country.
THREAT LEVEL: Moderate. The man obviously has ambition for higher office, as evidenced by his hilariously aborted run for Congress before Republican sachems made it clear that they would be enlisting a higher quality stooge than some freshman state representative that nobody outside his hometown could identify.
Sadly, this is Ohio. Dumbasses amass power in this state every day without having a fancy law degree or troop credentials. He’s still a geek from high school though, despite the odds of him committing mass murder in the name of the military-industrial complex.
THOSE WMDs. Amazon bought a public high school course with predictable results… Classic prime rib: The simplest, easiest method… Ohio schools no longer have to report COVID cases… What can I cook in a dutch oven? Everything.
Great article, DJ!