Who's This Legislative Dipshit? Meet State Senator Niraj Antani (R-Sewer)
The Rooster rides again on one of the most odious members of the State Legislature.
The Ohio Legislature, as predicted yesterday by The Rooster, passed a bill that reduced the hours of training required in the state for anybody the School Board deems worthy to carry a murder machine on their persona in defense of a possible mass shooting. G
Governor Mike DeWine already said he will sign the bill.
The Republican-led debate was as intellectually rigorous as the dialogue from a pizza deliveryman in a low-budget porno.
State Rep. Don Jones (R-Freeport) lamented about the time a student threw a chair at him and he wasn’t legally allowed to shoot that student with a gun. State Rep. Reggie Stoltzfus (R-Paris Township) informed us that, “School shootings have been around for decades. They’re not going anywhere.” (Well, not as long as enlightened intellectuals such as Rep. Stoltzfus continue to serve.)
There was also the required public corruption in broad daylight:
The most despicable moment from State Senator Niraj Antani (R-Sewer), who looked as disheveled as a transient who awoke in a gutter after a 72-hour FourLoko bender.
Antani laughably claimed to be an authority on mass shootings before accusing Democrats of shedding fake tears over the routine slaughter of America’s children:
This is the kind of performance that makes you question the existence of God.
Because if He or She actually existed as a universal authority on moral piety, the earth would have opened under Antani and the only time we would mention that name ever again would be in a parable to children warning them against gluttony, arrogance and stupidity.
Longtime readers of The Rooster will correctly identify Antani as Public Enemy No. 1. That vendetta went to a new level last year when Antani made a bartender search three trashcans for a mask that had “sentimental value.”
When called on the carpet for his anti-worker actions, Antani told The Rooster, “I’m going to own you!” before he stomped out of High Beck to his oversized truck that he has undoubtedly never used to haul anything other than his rumpled, ill-fitted suits and sweaty carcass.
But there has never been account, at least to The Rooster’s knowledge, of just who this pompous asshole thinks he is. And that ends today with the next installment of our series, “Who’s this legislative dipshit?”
The most surreal thing about Antani is that nobody likes him. This extends to his Republican colleagues and their staffers, but it goes back as far as his time as a student at Ohio State. He was reviled by his Block “O” comrades, which is hilarious considering the primary responsibilities are getting drunk and cheering for the Buckeyes.
From an early age, Antani was open about his desire to regulate the sexual lives of strangers. He authored a bizarre screed against “dormcest” in the student paper that The Lantern published in all its glory:
From shouting matches in the hall at 3 a.m. to rude exchanges in public common rooms, drama will seep out and cover the residence hall with its sticky residue. To make matters terrible, one of your dorm mates or roommates, might hook up with the same person, causing extreme unrest. Dormcest causes division and ill feelings between people in the dorm who would otherwise be good friends.
While hooking up in dorms will evoke drama, there’s also the argument against emotional dormcest; that is, developing a crush on someone in your dorm.
If the other party does not “like” you back, the situation may become quite thorny. Not speaking from personal experience or anything, but chances are you’ll start seeing her (or him) everywhere.
“Not speaking from personal experience or anything” is a blatant tell that, even back then, Antani was nothing more than a socially stunted nerd desperate to touch a titty.
The man was an “incel” before the term had even been coined. A true trailblazer in that way—though now his claim of doing “research” into mass shootings suddenly makes a lot more sense. As does his only electoral loss, which coincidentally was the only fair election in which he campaigned, for Student Government President:
His current politics can be distilled into his time at Ohio State. His desire for carnal knowledge of a woman propelled him into writing an op-ed whining about adults fucking other adults within their vicinity. His peers promptly rejected him in the next election. His whole worldview makes more sense when viewed through the scope of his desire to get even with all those big-city liberals who laughed at him.
Subscribers to The Rooster won’t make the mistake of asking themselves how a reviled incel like Antani got elected to the State Legislature. They know those are standard qualifications to serve within the Republican circles that control every lever of our state’s government.
But it’s important to distinguish that Antani did not enter state politics by winning an election. He was appointed to the position in Ohio House District 42 in 2014 after his predecessor, State Rep. Terry Blair, croaked under the wages of sin for a career in corrupt Republican politics.
Antani earned the appointment the old fashioned way—schmoozing Blair’s widow at the funeral before the corpse was cold. He was attending law school at the University of Dayton at the time, and he must have seen the easy trajectory into state politics if he got his foot in the door through appointment rather than having to campaign as an unknown 23-year-old who spent the previous four years living in Columbus.
He was the youngest member of the Ohio House at the time of his appointment, and the Statehouse has done nothing to humble him. In fact, it’s probably made him worse as he earns $60,000 a year with full benefits for only having to work roughly 50 days a year.
Some highlights from his tenure as State Representative:
Trying to pass legislation that required public schools to hold a “moment of silence” every day.
Proposed that 18-year-old students be allowed to carry guns in schools. But only rural students due to “cultural differences” that prevented urban students from having the mental acuity to carry safely due to Dayton having "a lot of gang violence, and firearms are used improperly.” He later blamed “poor communication of his position” for his racist sentiment. (Honestly, it was foresight into the inevitable Republican position when arming untrained teachers fails to stop school shootings.)
Fought rigorously against moderate reform to Ohio’s payday loan industry, which he claimed would lead to its ruin. Then-House Speaker Cliff Rosenberger would later resign under a cloud of federal investigation into his corrupt relationship with that same industry. The investigation is still ongoing. Moderate reform promptly passed, and the payday loan industry remains as alive as ever in the state.
Voted for Larry Householder to replace Rosenberger as Speaker. Then voted for the notoriously corrupt HB-6. Though Antai did vote to evict Householder from the House after getting ensnared with RICO charges, Antani failed to disclose $12,500 in campaign donations from Householder. He called it “a mistake” and then refused to return any of the money.
Whined about being blocked on Twitter by Congresswoman Alexendra Ocasio-Cortez, likely triggering his PTSD from all the women who denied his creepy sexual advances at Ohio State.
Became renowned for his sexual harassment of Statehouse pages.
He did all this while backing every awful, reactionary policy proposal to come out of the cesspool of corruption that is the Statehouse. In a functioning democracy, he would be sentenced to 30 years hard labor in the nearest gulag.
Unfortunately, this is Ohio, which means he earned a promotion to the State Senate in 2020 by defeating a venerable Democratic Troop candidate in the Republican-gerrymandered Senate District Six. (Starting to sense a trend here?)
It was in the Senate, however, where Antani accomplished what will be his crowning legislative achievement: Passing legislation that allowed Ohio collegiate athletes to profit off their Name, Image and Likeness. Yes, he did the bare minimum as the dam on NIL legislation was breaking nationally, but The Rooster is not biased enough to deny the legislation being good if not perfect.
Unfortunately, outside of the broken clock being right, Antani is still the same prick he has been for nearly a decade in state politics. As evidenced by The Rooster original report on Antani and a Koch Industries lobbyist who moonlit as a soccer vlogger illegally traveling together to visit the new MLS stadiums in Columbus and Cincinnati last summer.
That probably would have amounted to more if Ohio’s ethics laws weren’t laughable suggestions that allow bad-faith actors like Antani to thrive in public life.
THREAT LEVEL: ELEVATED. The Rooster is anti-Antani, and we take no pleasure in reporting that Antani will undoubtedly try to run for statewide office after term limits kick him out of the Senate.
He is an adept opportunist who has gotten better at getting his messaging into cheap headlines after his “only rural students over 18 should be allowed to carry guns” snafu. He has also avoided federal prosecution, which is no small feat for somebody as connected to the last two Speakers of the Ohio House who both might go to jail for corruption.
Yes, he would actually have to campaign, even in a primary for statewide office. But it would likely be a crowded field and Antani would only need a plurality to advance to the General Election.
If that happens, make no mistake: Ohio is definitely dumb enough to elect this sewer creature to a powerful position like auditor. And if that happens, look out. Antani’s life passion is to rule over a declining imperial power, and Republican primary voters are already primed to oblige him.
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