10 Democrats Sell Out Clean Energy
Gun groups bash Mike DeWine, President Deals thinks Ohio gets hurricanes, and more.
You see some wild things on Twitter, which is probably why I can’t break away from the application that rots my peanut brain:
@UDHCMH is aces when it comes to odd events in the history of the Ohio State campus area, but I needed to know more details. Turns out The Lantern got a quote for the ages from an undecided freshman back in 2003.
From Adam Godfrey of thelantern.com:
“I was like, ‘that is not an alligator is it?’ but it was,” said Stephanie Higgins, an undecided freshman.
Nobody knows where the alligator came from, but Barb Shardy, a lab proprietor for the Department of Evolution, Ecology and Organism Biology at Ohio State, said it was probably someone’s pet.
“It’s most likely somebody’s pet and they decided that they did not want to take care of it anymore, so they left him,” Shardy said. “This is the second incident like this we’ve had in two years. Last year an iguana was found climbing in one of the trees.”
Citizens on crime shows are always saying how at first they thought the dead body in the river was a mannequin. It’s never a mannequin, you dopes!
I feel this is kinda like that. If you think you see an alligator in a man-made “lake” in Ohio, it’s a damn gator. Act accordingly.
YOUR ELECTRIC BILL IS ABOUT TO GO UP
House Bill 6 — given the Orwellian name of “Ohio Clean Air Bill” — is a textbook example of how big money rules state politics.
Despite the millions spent by FirstEnergy and its allies in political donations (read: bribes) and astroturf campaigns, not even Larry Householder could have gotten the bill over the finish line yesterday without the help of 10 Democrats who sold out Ohio’s clean energy standards:
Richard Brown (Canal Winchester)
Jack Cera (Bellaire)
Tavia Galonski (Akron)
Catherine Ingram (Cincinnati)
Joe Miller (Amherst)
John Patterson (Ashtabula)
John Rogers (Mentor-on-the-Lake)
Lisa Sobecki (Toledo)
Terrance Upchurch (Cleveland)
Thomas West (Canton)
Sobecki gets a pass on account of the Davis Besse Nuclear Plant being in her district. Same goes for John Rogers with the Perry Nuclear Plant.
I might even extend that pass to Miller, Upchurch and Patterson on proximity.
The rest of the votes? Trash, trash, trash. I’m particularly disappointed in Rep. Galonski, who is one of about five Ohio legislatures who understands how Twitter works. Her vote didn’t make any sense until I learned FirstEnergy HQ is located in Akron. Then it made too much sense.
Anyway, congrats to every Ohio electricity user who moved one step closer to bailing out a coal plant in Indiana. Will this even work? Who’s to say!?
Love to have a passion for politics, the hobby that also increases my brain damage.
GUN GROUPS ONLY LOVE YOU IF YOU FUCK A GUN ON CAMERA
Ohio governor Mike DeWine recently proposed red flag legislation that would help judges and police seize guns from insane people who beat women or were planning mass shootings.
Naturally gun rights groups did the only sensible thing by lying to their members about how the governor misspoke.
DeWine, however, did not misspeak. He intends to pursue red flag legislation, much to the chagrin of gun fuckers who won’t rest until everyone in the state has six guns on their persona at all times.
From Jessie Balmert of cincinnati.com:
DeWine was never the first choice of Second Amendment advocates. They preferred his lieutenant governor and one-time rival Jon Husted or even former Lt. Gov. Mary Taylor, who proudly donned her rifle at a 2018 gun-rights rally on the Statehouse steps.
In Congress, DeWine's support of gun control measures, such as background checks at gun shows, earned him an "F" rating from the National Rifle Association. But the NRA ultimately endorsed DeWine, a Republican, over Democratic rival Rich Cordrayweeks before the November 2018 election.
…
"DeWine’s betrayal of gun owners must be stopped, blocked and KILLED," wrote Ohio Gun Owners, which opposes all gun restrictions, to its supporters.
…
"The very term red flag means that they are skipping due process," said Chuck LaRosa, a director with Ohioans for Concealed Carry.
There simply is no appeasing these people. I’d give more kudos to DeWine’s stand if he weren’t backing what the nuts call “constitutional carry,” a provision in the Constitution that the groups made up to ensure any asshole can carry a concealed weapon at any time.
OHIO: WELCOME TO HURRICANE ALLEY
I look forward to evicting President Deals next fall and replacing him with a president that can handle humanitarian situations without saying something bizarre.
From Ben Deeter of dispatch.com:
“I saw that you got hit very hard,” the president told the governor. “It’s sort of strange — I don’t think of Ohio when you talk about tornado stuff. You don’t even think about it. I don’t think of it as being hurricane alley. We’re with you all the way, and we have FEMA out there as you know. Whatever we have to do, we’ll do.”
At least he didn’t grace us with his odious presence and shoot a couple paper towel rolls into the crowd like a basketball game before absconding, like he did in Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria.
IT’S TRUE, TROY SMITH WOULD'VE BEEN AN NFL BOSS IF NOT FOR THE DASTARDLY ALLIANCE OF MONO AND JOE FLACCO
If you’re a fan of Ohio State that’s somehow still following my writing down the dark rabbit hole of state politics, please take 30-minute break and relive the legendary career of Troy Smith, who would have been a boss in the NFL had he not contracted mono (lesson: never kiss) and lost his job to Joe Flacco’s powerful eyebrows.
From Patrick Mayhorn of landgrantholyland.com:
Over a decade later, that loss to the Florida Gators still hurts. Damn you, Urban Meyer!
BUTLER COUNTY ROBBER: I’M ROBBING YOUR HOUSE BECAUSE EX-CIA GOONS ARE AFTER ME
While living on McMillan Avenue in Columbus back in like 2014, I came downstairs to find a scruffy marauder intent on looting my roommates’ video game systems. It’s a terrifying experience, and mine happened in the middle of the day.
From journal-news.com:
A burglary report at 3:22 a.m. May 18 left a woman shaking and fearful as she told police about a man who appeared in her bedroom, waking her up and telling her, “Call the police, ex-CIA operatives are chasing me,” according to an Oxford police report.
The man fled through a window, leaving his shoes behind.
The responding officer described the woman as very upset and crying and shaking in fear.
If ex-CIA goons are operating in Butler County our precious state may be in deeper trouble than I’d previously imagined.
THOSE WMDs. “It’s fucking crazy over here,” the dysfunctional world of the LA Lakers… 10 years later, some sparkle fading from Columbus’ Huntington Park… The United States and Iran battle over the pistachio trade… Your drug habit is destroying the planet… Purdue foreign arm ensnared in European opioid probe… White House wanted USS John McCain “out of sight” during Trump’s Japan visit… Guy with Jar Jar Binks back tattoo: “I’ve had sex multiple times.”