Congratulations Columbus residents! Yesterday we survived the hottest October 1st in recorded history which is cool to think about until you remember the impending climate crisis that none of our state’s do-nothing politicians will be around to suffer the final consequences with us and our loved ones.
In other good news our public schools are once again closed in October due to excessive heat and lack of air conditioning thanks to our love of gifting tax abatements to wealthy corporations and real estate developers.
Hopefully it’s not map day in the elementary schools. My mom always claimed I was bad at reading maps as a child because I was sick during map day in fourth grade. In my defense I can now read a map though it did take may a couple years to crack arcane concepts like north south east and west.
SEEMS LIKE MORE PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT DR. STRAUSS THAN WE KNOW
Here’s a story the Buckeye blogs avoided like radioactive waste yesterday despite being about a sports doctor who got away with molestation at least 1,500 times.
From Gabe Rosenberg & Nick Evans of wosu.org:
Ohio State University officials are reporting more than 1,500 separate instances where former team doctor Richard Strauss sexually assaulted students.
The figures were released Tuesday as part of the university’s federally required Clery report, an annual breakdown of campus crime statistics. They're tied to the year a crime is reported, however, rather than when it is alleged to have happened.
That means instances of sexual assault from Strauss’ tenure decades ago are instead reflected on the 2018 and 2019 reports.
For the 2018 report, school officials put the number of reported instances of fondling by Strauss at 992 and instances of rape at 30. Because of the ongoing investigation into Strauss, the university disclosed that an additional 437 instances of fondling and 17 of rape have been reported so far in 2019.Ohio State University officials are reporting more than 1,500 separate instances where former team doctor Richard Strauss sexually assaulted students.
God willing Richard Strauss is in Hell right now. But there are other people who are undoubtedly still alive who were at best negligent and at worst complicit in the rape and molestation of young people.
How something like this could’ve gone on for so long used to blow my mind until I learned what depths the rich and powerful will go to protect their #brands. I doubt Strauss was the only powerful pedophile at the university at the time; he was just the one with access to the kids.
LARRY HOUSEHOLDER PLAYS THE LONG GAME
Larry Householder once prided over the infamous caveman caucus so it’s no surprise he’s refusing to protect LGBT+ people from discrimination.
From Jeremy Pelzer of cleveland.com:
COLUMBUS, Ohio—Ohio House Speaker Larry Householder rejected Minority Leader Emilia Sykes’ request to add LGBT protections to the House’s anti-discrimination policy, Sykes told reporters Tuesday.
Householder’s decision means that Ohio House staff are the only employees across all three branches of Ohio state government not to be protected by an anti-discrimination policy that includes sexual orientation.
Sykes, an Akron Democrat, said in a conference call Tuesday that when she asked Householder why he decided not to include LGBT protections in the policy, the Perry County Republican told her it was because Ohio’s anti-discrimination law doesn’t include LGBT individuals.
Legislative Democrats have tried for years to add such protections to Ohio law, but all such efforts have died in the Republican-dominated Ohio General Assembly.
It makes me sick that Democrats had to play ball with this swamp monster because now that Householder’s old nemesis Ryan Smith took his gavel and went home there’s nobody on the Republican side in any position to challenge him.
So now we have a Democratic leader who couldn’t even whip enough votes to scuttle the worst energy bill of the 21st century and Householder is back to being the most powerful politician in the state. But hey we got a HR department or whatever out of it so I guess I shouldn’t complain.
I’ve heard from three well-connected people that Householder is gunning for the governor’s chair in 2022 so bigotry like this is perfect reptilian messaging to the Republican base that he is willing to take heat from Social Justice Warriors to protect God’s peoples from the evils of homosexuality and drag queens who want to put lipstick on your beefy 6th grade son.
And there are many Reps. in the House who feel the same way. For example I got my ass kicked in a Statehouse race by a woman who believes in gay conversion therapy.
VAPE OR DIE
When the dam finally breaks against the National Rifle Association the Republicans will seek to militarize the vapers as their next fringe voting bloc.
From Megan Henry of dispatch.com:
Vape store owners, employees and vapors expressed concern and outrage that several states across the country including Ohio are considering placing restrictive bans on the sale of vape products.
“We are not here to addict a new generation,” said James Jarvis, president of the Ohio Vapor Trade Association, the organization that planned the rally at the Ohio Statehouse that drew an estimated 200 people. “We are an adult product made by adults to cure an adult issue.”
Speakers at Tuesday’s rally addressed topics such as lung-illnesses that have been linked to vaping, growing concerns about teenagers using vaping products and the threat of banning vaping flavors. People at the rally held signs that read “Tastes great less killing,” “I vape, I vote” and “Mango is not a crime.”
In 2056 the protests will feature 200 people with “I do cocaine and I vote” and “Lines aren’t crimes” signs stomping around the Statehouse grounds after our governor which will probably be one of Mike DeWine’s 48 fucking grandchildren tries to rollback President Ocasio-Cortez’s federal drug decriminalization.
BIG GOVERNMENT GETS OUT OF THE WAY OF DISTILLERIES
One wacky thing about living in Ohio is we’re a liquor control state so a bunch of old men who went to private religious schools get to decide when, where and what kind of liquor we plebes can drink.
Recently however the distillery lobby has succeeded in reducing industrial regulations that have actually led to a boom in business.
From Patrick Cooley of dispatch.com:
“I think looking back over the last 10 years, the reason that’s driving the most recent interest (in craft distilling) is the fact that the regulatory environment in Ohio is more optimal,” said Brady Konya, co-owner of Middle West Spirits on the North Side.
For example, state law once barred distillery owners from operating a restaurant on the same property. That rule changed in 2016.
…
Before 2016, if a craft distillery wanted a bar on site and permission to sell bottles directly to customers, it needed a small-distillery license limiting production to 10,000 gallons of liquor per year. Lobbying from the distiller’s guild helped increase that limit to 100,000 gallons.
“It was just suffocating,” Konya said of the previous limit.
Good, good. Keep it coming bartender.
If I’m going to be required to live in this dying state where even my liberal bastion is controlled by real estate creeps then I’m going to need the liquor laws loosened pronto.
Hell in Baltimore you can buy liquor until 2 a.m. because they’re grown ass adults and not 16 year-olds raiding their parents’ liquor stash and getting blackout drunk on Cinnamon Schnapps not that I would know what that was like or anything.
LET’S TALK WAGE THEFT
The Democratic Socialists of Columbus fileted all the local shitty businesses that can’t keep their greedy fingers out of their workers’ pockets. What I hate most about wage theft is it never happens to any fancy executive but only to vulnerable people who most likely can’t go to their boss and say fuck you pay me binch.
As the illustrious Terra Goodnight of Innovation Ohio pointed out yesterday our state only has five wage inspectors. So it’s not hard to imagine all the small business hogs getting fat from skimming wages on workers who will never get caught.
HOW TO GENOCIDE A STINKBUG
Soon the invasion of stink bugs will be back on. Remember: Don’t smash them because they’re called stink bugs you idiot now your house smells bad and your friends call you Stinky Pete behind your back.
From Chris Mosby of patch.com:
In Ohio, Stop the Brown Marmorated Stink Bug's surveillance shows agricultural and nuisance problems have already been created by the insect.
Your best defense against stink bugs is to arm yourself weather-stripping, caulking and tape and make your home a fortress. Seal up gaps and crevices around foundations and any area where doors, windows, chimneys and utility pipes are cut into the exterior. Any opening large enough for a stink bug to crawl through should be sealed.
The best thing to do if you find them inside is gently sweep them into a bucket, then fill it with a couple of inches of soapy water. You could vacuum them up, but perhaps as a last resort because it will trigger stink bugs' notorious odor and make your vacuum cleaner smell bad.
I’m drowning so many stinkbugs this season. I can’t wait.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN TIFFIN?
If there’s one “The T” in Ohio it’s Toledo so it’s no surprise that in this person’s wildest fantasies they’re brining a Golden Corral to their city.
The sign’s creator is either over 70 years old or a college student. Those are the only two types of people who go to the Golden Corral the restaurant that charges $18 or whatever for a buffet of rubber steaks.
THOSE WMDs. Conservative D.C. is a bunch of weird-as-hell Nationals fans… This is how to pay college athletes… President Business Deals’ tweets are scary even for him… Attorney general launches HB-6 “petition blocker” investigation… The internet is overrun with images of child sex abuse. What went wrong?