Frank LaRose is still campaigning for Senate!
The Rooster obtained a laughable poll commissioned by LaRose in a feeble attempt to earn appointment to the soon-to-be-vacated Senate seat of J.D. Vance.
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One thing to know about our beautiful Secretary of State Frank LaRose is he holds a lifelong ambition to serve in the United States Senate. A pervert alert if there ever was one.
If this were 1995, his path from Green Beret to partisan hack might have been enough to breeze into the highest legislative chamber in the country. But in the era of Donald Trump, LaRose went from leading a competitive field on Name-ID alone to finishing in third place after running the most disastrous statewide campaign this side of once-Democratic wunderkind Ed FitzGerald.
The current scuttlebutt about LaRose is he plans to run for Auditor in 2026. That would be a step down the ladder from his current political office, but one that would probably be required after he torched his reputation with both wings of the Ohio Republican Party.
But thankfully for LaRose, Trump won the presidential election earlier this month. That gave him some wiggle room, at least in his mind.
LaRose wasted little time in leaking to Politico that he was “very interested” in leading the Cybersecurity & Infrastructure Agency, which is hilarious given that The Rooster successfully catfished him into being named his Miami County Campaign Captain after paying him exactly one compliment via text message.
But it’s easy to see LaRose’s plan: Run off to Washington D.C., establish some Trump credibility, and then return to Ohio in four years when most voters have forgotten that you’re a shameless bastard.
Senator Rand Paul (R-Kentucky), however, had different ideas, recently announcing he planned to “kneecap” the agency or get rid of it entirely.
LaRose, for his part, must not be too confident in earning that appointment since he paid Chris Wilson of WPAi Polling to conduct a poll to show why Ohio’s most infamous third-place Senate candidate would be the best person to replace Vice President-Elect J.D. Vance in the Senate.
The poll surveyed 1,028 “likely voters in Ohio Statewide,” and the results can be seen below:
You can download the two-page report in full here:
The source that leaked the memo to The Rooster revealed that LaRose has been pushing this poll to Governor Mike DeWine’s team. And it gives insight as to whom LaRose sees as his competition:
Lieutenant Governor Jon Husted
Attorney General Dave Yost
Former Congressman Jim Renacci
State Senator Matt Dolan (R-Chagrin Falls)
Congressman Dave Joyce (R-Chagrin Falls)
Former Ohio Republican chairwoman Jane Timken
Congressman Mike Carey (R-German Village)
Attorney Mehek Cook
Of the names listed, only Timken and Carey are serious candidates, with Timken having the edge. LaRose’s team would know that if they had the common sense to subscribe to The Rooster.
But in typical LaRose fashion, he’s bragging about a poll where Someone Else and Undecided (combined) lead him by eight points.
It’s also not surprising LaRose is pushing a poll that highlights Timken’s unfavorability with Republican voters considering the two loathe each other.
LaRose also touts a laughable 13-point boost to his name with the theoretical endorsement of President Business Deals.
Consider that luxury car salesman Bernie Moreno netted 50 percent of the vote against Sherrod Brown, and you start to understand how it’s absurd that LaRose is bragging about that 13-point boost.
When it’s added all together, you get the image of a man who is not feeling confident about a possible federal appointment or an appointment to the United States Senate.
Frankly, it’s a fate he deserves after descending into a partisan hack who has spent the better part of the last four years desperately trying (and failing) to earn his next political promotion while drawing a publicly funded salary.
Get ready to run for auditor, LaRose! Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll go get a real job when he eats shit in that primary, too.
The Scientologists kidnapped Brutus Buckeye!
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