The mystery of Madison Sheahan
A cabal of shady suspects has recruited and fielded one of the most baffling Congressional candidates in the country.
The ramifications of Ohio’s bipartisan Congressional map deal are still reverberating through the state.
The deal seemingly materialized out of thin air in late November.
But as The Rooster exclusively detailed, Senate President Rob McColley was the driving force, with Republican mapmakers most concerned with adding as many of his Senate voters into the revamped 9th Congressional District that represents Northwest Ohio.
Three Republican operatives—Bobby Paduchik, Clayton Henson, and Jared Borg — then used their TrumpWorld credibility to seal the deal by pushing the lie that “the White House” was on board—while, in reality, the president was preoccupied doing God knows what in Asia.
Ironically, McColley will not seek the 9th Congressional seat despite his minions laying the path of least resistance in what would have been a competitive primary involving former State Rep. Derek Merrin, House Majority Whip Josh Williams, and other fringe candidates.
It’s immaterial whether he came to that decision on his own or was forced into it after failing to impress Donald Trump during a White House meeting.
Unbeknownst to him, McColley was set to be exiled into the political wilderness, with Republican gubernatorial frontrunner Vivek Ramaswamy set to resurrect Josh Mandel as his running mate in Cleveland two weeks ago.
That was The Rooster hoisted the black flag and unleashed a chain reaction that sent Mandel back to the depths of irrelevancy (read: the sidelines of youth soccer games in the Joe-Biden-loving Cleveland suburb of Pepper Pike).
McColley’s exit seemingly cleared the path for Rep. Williams to be coronated as the “MAGA” choice in #OH09.
But that’s not what happened thanks to a vendetta sparked in large part by The Rooster’s original reporting on how the bipartisan map deal came into existence.
Multiple sources have told The Rooster over recent weeks that Paduchik blamed Williams for leaking the facts of his involvement to Ohio’s premier sewer blogger.
That’s not true! That’s not what happened. But that’s the beauty of my position: My enemies always search for the lowest common denominator to blame for “talking” to me.
In their defense, sometimes they’re right. But it’s usually a lot more complicated than that.
Not that Paduchik’s lazy thinking makes it any less hilarious that his fury led him to recruiting Madison Sheahan, I.C.E.’s then-No. 2 thug, to run for Congress in a state in which she hadn’t lived for five years.
Being raised on her parents’ farm within the “census-designated area” of Curtice in Ottawa County might be Sheahan’s singular qualification for her Congressional campaign.
The lack of qualifications and non-existent work output are seemingly the only common threads from the 28-year-old’s startling four-year ascension, which took her to South Dakota, Louisiana, and Washington, D.C., before landing back in Ohio.
Sheahan dismissed any concerns about a lack of standard qualifications in a New York Magazine article that detailed her colleagues at I.C.E. referring to her as “fish cop,” a derisive nickname based on Sheahan’s previous experience with the Louisiana Department of Wildlife.
“I absolutely think I’m qualified for the job,” Sheahan said. “Because at the end of the day, what really makes anybody qualified for any job?”
Sheahan’s political career started as a Field Organizer in the Columbus region for Trump’s 2020 re-election campaign.
Multiple sources told The Rooster that Sheahan was involved in “several” lesbian relationships with co-workers, including one that qualified as “grooming” a subordinate, leading to unspecified blackmail to maintain the victim’s silence.
The Rooster can confirm that every rival campaign is currently searching for the staffer at the center of the grooming allegations. If you happen to know anything, you can submit that information anonymously through the Dirtbox.
Nevertheless, the Trump campaign moved Sheahan to its “Election Integrity Team,” which is a curious creation given that Ohio was, and still is, a Republican-dominated state.
The new surroundings did not inspire Sheahan to greatness, as one source revealed that “she did not complete the responsibilities assigned to her,” and that those responsibilities were designated to her co-workers.
The accusations of sexual misconduct and non-existent work ethic would make Sheahan’s aspirations dead-on-arrival in the private sector. But not in Ohio Republican political circles, apparently.
Multiple sources point to a late 2020 meeting between Sheahan and then-South Dakota governor Kristi Noem in Washington D.C., orchestrated by Paduchik.
Sheahan must have spindled several yards of gold in that meeting, since it’s that connection to Noem that she owes her meteoric rise, starting with serving as Noem’s political director from February 2021 to January 2024.
In January 2024, Louisiana’s Republican governor, Jeff Landry, shocked the state’s renowned game wardens by appointing Sheahan as the Secretary of Wildlife and Fisheries.
Multiple sources confirmed to The Rooster that Noem’s long-rumored paramour, Corey Lewandowski, devised that appointment.
One former Louisianan who spoke to The Rooster said that the state’s hunters and fishers were “really unhappy” with the appointment, given that Sheahan had zero experience or expertise in their world.
Trying to assuage those concerns, Sheahan cited her time with Ohio State’s rowing team as all the experience she needed to excel at the job.
The results were less than impressive.
“I ran into her in the halls of the Capitol maybe two years ago,” the source said.
“I called her by her name and position, and her face lit up. Not sure I’ve ever seen someone so delighted to be recognized.”
Sheahan responded with a simple, “Yes?”
The source said, ‘You have no business holding your job and are an embarrassment to the people of Louisiana.’”
Somewhat unsurprisingly, Sheahan’s campaign also includes other political specimens that have amassed power in spite of their reckless and borderline criminal behavior.
