November Mailbag: Election Extravaganza

Welcome to the calm before the storm.

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Well… it’s finally here. The most consequential election of our lives… until the next one.

I think it will be a good day for our side for reasons that I laid out in yesterday’s dispatch. But remember: These are only one deranged man’s predictions, and I only play an infallible genius in the pages of this humble operation.

Please vote today if you haven’t already done so.

At the very least, vote YES on Issue 1 to ban gerrymandering in Ohio and YES on 47 if you’re in Central Ohio to massively invest in our mass transit network.

For a sample ballot, please consult the venerable Senator Meowlet. It carries my complete and total endorsement.

Today is a special dispatch: The Election Extravaganza, where I answer readers’ burning questions about politics and anything else.

In typical fashion, I flubbed the link to the Jotform twice in yesterday’s dispatch.

We still had enough questions to go around… but if there was a burning question you didn’t get to ask… please submit it through my Jotform (the correct link; I checked twice), and I’ll answer it on Twitter later this morning.

In the meantime, now is as good a time as any to subscribe to The Rooster.

Tomorrow’s dispatch will deal with the many losers of tonight’s election in Ohio, and a monthly subscription will take you well into the house of horrors that is the State Legislature’s Lame Duck Session, set to launch later this month.

If you enjoy the tweets or videos of me giving politicians hell, it’s made possible through the financial generosity of the brave and noble soldiers within the Patriots Caucus.

I’d be honored if you took the plunge today. You’ll have in order to read the answers to the best questions put before me.

With the self-promotion done and dusted, let’s get on with the show!

YES on Issue 1 to ban gerrymandering!!!

Did you vote?

I don’t vote early because the Board of Elections on Morse Road is a pain to access by bike or bus (over two hours round-trip, plus whatever time it takes to vote). Plus, I don’t handle standing in line well.

Unless I get clipped by a motorist while walking to the precinct, I will vote early this morning.

Where will you be on Election Night?

I’ll be alone in my husband’s house watching the BBC’s election coverage and typing my little sentences about Ohio politics into Twitter.

Roughly around midnight, I’ll transition to the dining room, where I’ll sit, hunched over my keyboard, and type my little sentences into Substack for Wednesday’s dispatch of the biggest losers from what should be a seismic election one way or another.

How do I navigate this week with a MAGA brother who loves spewing “election fraud” talk?

Well, the first step would be to stress that Democrats stole the election last time, so there’s no point in him voting in this election because we’re going to steal it again.

But in all seriousness… it seems like he might have a terminal case of right-wing brain worms. What’s sad is you can’t rationalize with these people. There is no amount of “proof” or lucid sentence that you can construct to give them an “aha!” moment.

You have to keep living your life, hitting them with “Oh for sure, man” or “that sure is crazy” and hope that one day, they come back into the light.

Last question (as far as we know) about this loser: What’s your over/under date for when State Rep. Jena Powell will change her voter registration from Arcanum to Mason? Also, it will be interesting to see to which hospital she will go for her baby to be born; I bet it’s not in Darke County.

For those who don’t know: The Rooster popped Rep. Powell for living in Mason—75 miles outside her district—with her realtor husband in January 2023. She quit like a dog rather than seek re-election, though not before conspiring with Troy pastor Jonathan Newman to basically give him a free ride to the Ohio House as her replacement.

Will you continue to attend local public meetings? It's a good way to keep local government on their feet.

Oh yes. I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy walking into random political meetings, like last week’s Franklin County Commissioners meeting, and seeing politicians and bureaucrats looking at me like, “What in the Hell is that asshole doing here?”