Ohio is America's Dumbest States

Well when you put it like that...

Went to Indianapolis this weekend against my better judgment. Next thing I know it’s 1 a.m. on Saturday morning and a Wisconsin offensive quality control coach is clearly contemplating punching me in the face because I couldn’t stop laughing after he told me Bucky Badger was going to come out throwing and #87 was going to lead the way

Thankfully I learned long ago from men tougher than me that if somebody is serious about punching you in the face they won’t lead with their words. But touché to the Badger coach because he won $100 from me by saying #87 would be the leading receiver in the game. In my defense wasn’t a prophecy that didn’t come true until their last offensive series in garbage time.

Thankfully the Browns (-7) rescued me from the rocks of financial ruin otherwise there would have been no dispatch today as I’d be on Day 1 of my new life as a cattle rancher in the Sierra Madre Occidental of Mexico.

STUDY: OHIO IS DUMB

As I always say… whenever somebody compiles state rankings in a subjective matter it’s always bad news for Ohio unless we’re talking lax labor regulations that allow small business tyrants to steal wages from their employees.

And I think everybody here obviously loves Ohio but also I don’t think it’d surprise us to learn some random-ass website found our beloved home to be one of the dumbest organizations within the United States.

From Lucas Sullivan of dispatch.com:

Four years after Columbus was named the smartest city in the world by one group, Ohio was dubbed one of the dumbest states by another.

Safehome.org, a website that publishes rankings and researches home safety and technology products, recently ranked Ohio as one of the dumbest states in the country.

The group said it researched data on bachelor’s degrees and college prep scores from the U.S. Census Bureau to rank the states and the District of Columbia by the smartest people.

And Ohio, at 43rd smartest, apparently ain’t it.

Kentucky is even smarter, and it is literally beneath Ohio.

See it’s cool for any Ohioan to talk trash about Ohio. But I draw the line when some outsider nerd tries barking at us.

Because let’s be real. Bachelor degrees and “college prep scores” do not translate into intelligence. Am I saying this because I never graduated? That’s a riddle I’ll leave on your doorstep.

FORMER OHIO STATE ATHLETES DEMAND INVESTIGATION INTO LES WEXNER ACCUSATIONS

The richest man in Ohio was credibly accused this summer of allowing disgraced dead pedophile Jeffrey Epstein hold a sexual hostage at his compound and somehow this was a news story for like 12 hours.

Maybe it’s perhaps a coincidence but Les Wexner also sat on the Ohio State Board of Trustees during a time the university allowed a sexual predator to work at the university for 30 years. Are these two incidents connected? It’s hard to say but former athletes are asking questions.

From Jonathan O’Connell and Sarah Ellison of washingtonpost.com:

Five former Ohio State athletes are asking the Ohio attorney general and federal prosecutors to investigate fashion billionaire Leslie Wexner and his wife, Abigail Wexner, following allegations that Jeffrey Epstein assaulted a woman in a house surrounding the Wexners’ estate outside of Columbus in 1996.

The writers of the letter are former varsity athletes who say they were sexually assaulted by Richard Strauss, who was found to have abused at least 177 athleteswhile serving as a university physician until 1998.

In their letter Thursday, the athletes cited an October Washington Post article in which Maria Farmer said she holds the Wexners responsible for her alleged assault by Epstein and his associate Ghislaine Maxwell, as well as a lawsuit Farmer filed. The assault allegedly occurred on property Farmer says was monitored by Abigail Wexner and the Wexner security team.

Les Wexner, the founder and chief executive of L Brands, the parent company of the Limited and Victoria’s Secret, was also on the university’s board of trustees during some of the years Strauss was working there.

There’s a reason I’m not the most powerful attorney in this state. Because if I were I’d be issuing the dawg check of the century to the creepy old man who sold thongs to children.

Instead here’s how a glory hound like Dave Yost is treating a long-time Republican donor:

“This office takes all allegations of sexual assault seriously,” said attorney general spokeswoman Holly M. Hollingsworth. “In Ohio, primary criminal jurisdiction rests with local prosecutors and police agencies – the attorney general only has authority over such matters when invited in by local authorities.”

It’s funny to watch people who have made a career out of throwing people in jail suddenly shrink when the accused is rich and not poor. And when I say it’s funny what i mean is it makes my stomach twist into knots of disgust.

OHIO’S BOARDS OF ELECTION LACK BASIC SECURITY

One thing we learn from school in America is that our country is a shining beacon of true democracy. It’s something that a child would like because it’s simple. Unfortunately you grow old and either work too much to care about electoral politics or that most state election officials aren’t fit to manage an Applebee’s.

From Rick Rouan of dispatch.com:

The vast majority of Ohio’s county boards of elections haven’t installed the digital burglar alarm that Secretary of State Frank LaRose says helped his office detect a hacking attempt of his office’s website on Election Day.

With less than two months to go before the deadline LaRose imposed for installation of the so-called Albert systems, just 13 out of Ohio’s 88 county boards of elections have operational alarms. The remaining 75 have until Jan. 31 to install them.

“The most important consequence is not being prepared,” LaRose said Friday after the start of a daylong security conference for county elections officials in Columbus. “This is too important to take lightly.”

Franklin County has had an Albert sensor in place since May 2018, with other network sensors in place at the Franklin County data center before that.

Humans are procrastinators by nature so I’m not going to freak out. But then the other half of me says that Republicans have welcomes Russian electoral engineering at every level so why would Ohio’s elections be any different?

TRUMP BACKERS GIVING AWAY CASH IN CLEVELAND

Any Democrat that says President Business Deals can’t win re-election is a fucking idiot. But it’s also true that for a he’s historically weak for a sitting U.S. president with sub-4% unemployment. This is evidenced by the enablers of our criminal president staging events to recruit poor people that they can bribe into listening to propaganda.

From Andrew J. Tobias of cleveland.com:

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Prominent supporters of President Donald Trump say they’re planning an event in Downtown Cleveland next weekend, attended by Trump administration officials, that will include a $25,000 cash giveaway for the general public.

The Dec. 14 is being organized by the Urban Revitalization Commission, a non-profit founded by two members of the National Diversity Coalition for Trump, including Cleveland Heights Pastor Darrell Scott. It will feature Ja’Ron Smith, a White House official scheduled to speak at the City Club of Cleveland the day before, and Pam Ashby, the regional field director of the U.S. Housing and Urban Development office in Cleveland, according to Kareem Lanier, a Cleveland native who’s co-chairman of the Urban Revitalization Coalition.

…

Lanier said the event will be held from 3-5 p.m. in the atrium of the Galleria shopping center. He said the money will be given away in increments of $300 to $1,000. He said organizers plan to bring in residents of low-income housing facilities to attend, but the event also is free and open to the general public. Anyone who attends will be given a raffle ticket. Prizes will be awarded in a live drawing, and will be redeemable at the end of the night, he said.

He did not say who donated the prize money, other than to say it’s coming from the non-profit.

I asked two lawyers would know… is it legal for a non-profit to throw out cash to the public? The answer is no. I’ll be surprised if this event happens.

REGULATIONS AT PORT OF DETROIT SENDING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO TOLEDO

Michigan once attempted to go to war with Ohio over Toledo. We dawg-checked those bums into submission without firing shot. Now after all these years our state economy still profits from Port Toledo.

From Tom Hederson of crainsdetroit.com:

A strict policy by the Detroit office of U.S. Customs and Border Protection has cost Michigan millions of dollars in revenue — much of which ends up in Ohio.

That's according to a study by the University of Michigan on the economic impact of the policy on Michigan marine ports.

The policy, in place since 2016, requires large steel shipping containers and other crated cargo entering or leaving Michigan ports to be scanned for radiation and X-rayed. None of Michigan's 40 ports has equipment in place to do that.

Cargo that is prohibited from being unloaded in Monroe and other state ports is routinely offloaded in the nearby ports of Toledo and Cleveland, creating large docking and unloading fees and hundreds of jobs. Toledo, which is just 17 miles from Monroe, doesn't have scanning or X-ray equipment. According to David Gutheil, the chief commercial officer for the Port of Cleveland, his port has two radiation scanners but no X-ray equipment.

The subtext between the lines: If nerd business reporters are talking about this then drug dealers have already made enough money to retire.

THOSE WMDs. Personnel and schematic changes led Ohio State’s comeback vs. Wisconsin… Democrats must admit Joe Biden’s family profited off him… Lovers in Auschwitz reunited after 72 years… The bowhunting influencer of Iowa Democrats… This was the decade drug overdoses killed half a million Americans.