Rooster in Review: Thank God It's Friday

It was a record week of traffic at The Rooster, for reasons that you probably have heard about.

Apologies to Sinclair? This ABC6 On Your Side graphic goes insanely hard.

What a week that was, eh? I’m going to need to unplug by drinking exactly three fake beers tonight before ignoring my phone until Sunday afternoon.

But as you may have seen, The Rooster was featured on everything from ABC World News Tonight to The New York Times to The New York Post to Alex Jones’ conspiracy hour on InfoWars.

That, my friends, is the depth and scope of The Rooster at its best. It’s all made possible by a worldwide cabal of subscribers.

You’re doing your part to support The Rooster, even if you’re a freeloading hog huffing fumes in the parking lot and consuming the occasional free dispatch.

However, we’re only able to offer our award-winning coverage and staggering social media presence thanks to the brave and noble patriots who subscribe.

We’d be honored if any of the freeloading hogs took this opportunity to join the swelling ranks of the Patriots Caucus. We have more to come on Ohio State next week, with a statewide election cycle around the corner.

Thank you for your attention to this important matter.

This week in Ohio Man…

Ohio Republican Senate Communications Director Jon Fortney is no fan of The Rooster. The feud started in 2023 on the floor of the state’s most beautiful retirement home when I called him a “blow job brother.”

It was a puerile quip that, frankly, I wouldn’t repeat today.

But the feud only intensified when he threatened to sue me for questions about a bank’s years-long quest to repossess his car after his wife left him. That lawsuit never came.

Today, I awoke to an ominous string of words in a text from Hilltop Husband: “Jon Forntey’s Dispatch op-ed.”

It was even more hilarious than I ever would have dreamed.

From Ohio Senate Republican communications director John Fortney in The Columbus Dispatch:

The left wants to politicize and smear the mission of Ohio State's Salmon P. Chase Center for Civics, Culture and Society over an incident that can clearly be called self-defense.

[…]

‘Mr. Hoodie’ lucky he got up

I have a background in Krav Maga and self-defense.

It’s hilarious that Fortney is bragging about his “background” in Krava Maga, which is little more than Israeli pseudoscience that’s not respected by any serious student of “self-defense.”

But it offers insight into how Mr. Fortney uses the prestige of his job title to launder bad-faith nonsense into the traditional press.

I provided this statement to Marihou Johanek of Ohio Capital Journal, which is an outlet worthy of your readership:

It’s telling that John Fortney, an alleged former journalist and a case study in Rooster Derangement Syndrome, saw a clip of Lucas Perez assaulting a man backing away from him, with cameras in both hands, and instantly fantasized about doing the violence himself.

Ohio State Police informed me late Wednesday night that, upon full review of the facts, Mr. Newman and I were well within our rights to stand in the hallways of a public university during business hours. They admitted that our original trespassing notice—given on the back of Chase Center professor Christopher Green lying to police about that night’s events—had been issued in error.

That Fortney doesn’t understand basic First Amendment rights surrounding public buildings shows why he’s carrying water for powerful politicians and is no longer a credentialed journalist. That he instantly labeled me and Mr. Newman as threats speaks to the flood of guns that his boss’s policies have unleashed upon Ohio’s streets.

I look forward to litigating this sad state of affairs the next time I cross paths with him on Capitol Square.

In short: Eat my ass, Mr. Fortney. And not in the good way, either!

This week on The Rooster

Photo by David Brooke Martin on Unsplash

The Rooster is a supplement to traditional news sources. But this week was an insight into what one determined hermit with a lifelong vendetta can accomplish by publishing deranged sentences on the internet.

Again, we’d be honored if anyone decided to support that work with a subscription:

Here’s what you might have missed!

• Ohio State’s Epstein problems just got worse. Jeffrey Epstein had Ohio State OB-GYN chairman Dr. Mark Landon on a $75K annual retainer. Landon delivered Wexner’s children.

• Angry assistant professor assaults curious cameraman at Ohio State’s “intellectual diversity center.” Assistant Professor Luke Perez will likely be the former assistant professor Luke Perez, thanks in large part to The Rooster turning the camera back on quickly after interviewing Dr. E. Gordon Gee.

• Ohio State likely learned of Leslie Wexner’s Epstein problems on Sept. 18, 2009. Ohio State chairman Leslie Wexner was served a subpoena in a Jane Doe case against Jeffrey Epstein. Wexner’s lawyer, current Ohio State trustee chairman John Zeiger, later received a copy of a settlement between Jane Doe #102 and Epstein.

• Joyce Beatty’s defeaning silence on Ohio State, Leslie Wexner and Jeffrey Epstein… explained. Beatty went from attending a candelight vigil with Epstein survivors in November to radio silence on the latest Wexner revelations. It makes sense if you’re familiar with her history.

We’ll do it at the same time and place next week.

Until then… stay frosty, my friends!