Rooster in Review: When the FBI knocks
Why you shouldn't count on the FBI saving us from the terror of House Speaker Tim McVeigh Junior.
Before we begin, a quick correction from the January Mailbag, which hit inboxes this morning:
Joe Motil received 36 percent of the vote against Mayor Suburbs in 2023, not 33 percent, as I stated. That was good for the third-highest vote total of any challenger in Columbus mayoral election history. Motil also spent $25,000 in that campaign, much more than the $10,000 I incorrectly claimed.
With apologies to Mr. Motil, the intern responsible for the error has been fired like a dog and is being escorted out of Rooster Worldwide HQ by armed security personnel.
As promised, however, I wanted to answer three questions that got left on the cutting room floor in this morning’s dispatch:
If the GOP gremlins you speak with all say Tim McVeigh Jr has the Speakership under lock for the next eight years, then in your opinion, how long does it take him to get pinched by the FBI and if so for what?
McVeigh (Huffman) and his people must believe they are invincible in the same way Larry Householder and Cliff Rosenberger (probably less so?) did after they ascended to the Speakership. What do you think?
Matt Huffman having the Speakership on lock is certainly the current forecast. However, a lot can change in eight years, and the supermajority structure of the House almost ensures a forever Civil War.
As for the FBI, well, FirstEnergy was well aware they had to whet Huffman’s beak to get the notorious HB-6 legislation through the Senate, before Huffman was even President.
There’s a reason the since-indicted, former FirstEnergy Vice President of Bribes Michael Dowling called Huffman “transactional.” It wasn’t a reputation that came about during the HB-6 discourse.
However, what separates Huffman from Householder and Rosenberger is that he has the intelligence to match his arrogance. And he’s living in a golden era of public corruption where it’s almost impossible to prosecute the crime thanks to the unelected lizard cabal that is our Supreme Court.
When you add all that to the fact that the FBI basically fell ass-backward into the HB-6 investigation in the first place, as well as Trump likely to install a conspiracy-dripping kook like Kash Patel at the top of the office.
Suddenly you feel even worse about the chances of Huffman getting pinched.
At this point, there’s a much better chance of Huffman, who is a notorious speeder on our roadways, dying in a fiery car crash somewhere between Lima and Columbus.
What’s up with Jon Husted (who has a broken Intel 386 CPU where his brain should be) and his first wife, and why is it the top-suggested search on Google?
Husted, who has a half-eaten Pop-Tart where his brain is supposed to be, got divorced shortly before he arrived on the political scene in the late 1990s. His son is a product of that marriage, though he never mentions that in his official campaign biographies.
His first wife, according to multiple sources, is fond of saying that Husted was clinically diagnosed as a narcissist, which fits the bill for everything I’ve heard about him in the past two years.
Over this weekend, I plan to sit down and compile a dossier on Husted and his longtime corruption in Ohio to set the table for his officially accepting the Senate appointment next week.
If you were a betting man, who wins the national CFP championship and by how much?
If Ohio State beats Texas tonight… the Buckeyes will wax Notre Dame in the finals.
But if Texas beats Ohio State, then Notre Dame beats Texas by 10 points.
Nobody has more to gain than Ryan Day in the extended playoff era. Let’s hope he takes the chances and owns his haters and doubters (like me).
Subscribe to The Rooster!
The Rooster is a 100-percent reader-supported publication.
You can help sustain the largest independently owned media operation in Ohio politics with a financial subscription:
By joining the Patriots Caucus, you’ll never miss a dispatch while also earning commenting ability, access to over six years of publishing archives, and the opportunity to win free merchandise or books.
You will also be able to sleep soundly at night knowing you help put psychic damage on the lizard cabal masquerading as our state government.
This week in Ohio Man…
Breaking news from the northeastern part of the state: You did not have to be brilliant in order to reside in Brilliant, Ohio.
From The Herald-Star:
Indicted on three counts of aggravated vehicular assault was Joseph W. Boyer Jr., 512 Ridgeview Ave., Brilliant.
Authorities report Boyer, 35, was behind the wheel despite not having a license when he allegedly struck the motorcyclists on Aug. 11, two of whom suffered “profound injuries” and had to be flown by medical helicopter for treatment. The third victim got out of the way but still suffered substantial injuries, they said.
This is why I prefer cycling. It also makes me feel like the king of the highway but not to the point that I froth in murderous rage and plow into a bunch of charity motorcylcists.
What’s crazy is that no amount of punishment outside of life in prison will ever prevent this guy from driving again because of America’s suicidal commitment to car-first infrastructure.
This week in The Rooster…
It was another brisk week at Rooster Worldwide LLC. I suspect that next week will feature the traditional publishing schedule of Monday, Wednesday and Friday. But I’ll make the final call over the weekend.
Here we go again. The 136th General Assembly kicked off Monday, which is generally bad news for anyone who isn’t a fossil fuel executive, a suburban car dealer, or a drunken rural preacher.
Let’s get ready to rumble. All signs point to Donald Trump clearing the Ohio Republican gubernatorial field for Vivek Ramaswamy, as rumors swirl that Attorney General Dave Yost is set to earn some cushy federal appointment.
The wheel in the sky. Expressing concerns about Dr. Amy Acton’s gubernatorial candidacy
The data center blitz won’t end well for Ohio. Ohio Republicans and Franklin County Democrats are leading us off the cliff with data centers, which deliver a paltry amount of permanent jobs while ripping off the public on taxes and energy consumption. This dispatch also reveals new intel on unserious chucklefuck State Rep. Cedrick Denson (D-Cincinnati).
The January Mailbag. Answering the most burning questions from the rank-and-file readership as we kick off a new year. Including one that made me say, "Oh god."
Thank you for reading! This humble operation has truly become the honor of a lifetime other than that time Hilltop Husband proposed to me over text messaging.
THOSE WMDs. Why overly kind and moral people can rub you the wrong way… Norovirus is surging; here are the most common symptoms doctors are seeing… Your phone is eavesdropping, but probably not to target ads… From 2018: The case for letting Malibu burn… On TikTok, every migrant is living the American dream.
Mayor Suburbs had to spend something like $12-14M to fend off Joe and his $25k. 36% of the vote in that situation deserves a salute not snark.