Rooster in Review: Yin and Yang

John Fortney and Dolly DeWine... IN THE DIRT!!!!!!!

From left to right: .44 caliber abolitionist John Brown, President Warren G. Harding, and Brutus Buckeye

Well, folks. It finally happened. The Rooster has won not one, but two Sloopys in the 2024 rendition of cleveland.com’s prestigious end-of-the-year awards.

Voters recognized this “left-leaning blogger and provocateur” as the Best Use of Social Media (51.4%) beating the second-place First Dog Dolly DeWine (13%).

I’d be lying if I didn’t say this win meant nothing to me. And I think even the legislators and lobbyists who loathe my politics have come to recognize that fill a void in Statehouse media.

Voters also ordained The Rooster as the Biggest Troll (56.4%), beating second-place State Rep. Ron Ferguson (R-Wintersville) with 12.% of the vote.

I’m more than willing to wear that mantle considering the reactionary politicians that run the Statehouse. And I recognize that some of my antics—like the infamous “Blow Job Brothers” quip in the Senate chamber—means that some folks in the professional political pervert crowd will never see any of other work as legitimate.

That’s fine!

However, these two awards show the Yin and the Yang of Rooster Worldwide LLC.

Some people love the schtick. Others want to throw me into a volcano. That’s the story of my life, and it’s looking like that will be the case in 2025 as I expand the operation to Capitol Hill in Washington D.C.

Most importantly, “The President’s Podcast,” which State Senate President Matt Huffman was bragging about last week, won Worst Use of Social Media with 56.1 percent of the vote.

Huffman called the effort, which is little more than a couple of microphones and an iPhone camera, the “Death Star” of Senate Republican media lickspittle John Fortney. You almost have to laugh even before realizing it averages a paltry 200 viewers an episode, which is a number you can almost assuredly cut in half.

Nevertheless, I’d like to thank the nearly 3,300 voters and venerable reporter Jeremy Pelzer for organizing the entire show.

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You can also support the brand by purchasing various t-shirts, hats or tank tops from our friends at Supporter Supply Company. Everything is produced and promptly shipped in Columbus, so every cent of your money stays in the backwater outpost that we laughably call a state.

The Bad & Good of Lame Duck Loose Ends

There were two actions in the final day of Lame Duck that I wanted to highlight:

• The good: The Legislature passed HB-173, which was amended to include language mandating hospitals publish a standardized list of prices for services with and without insurance. This legislation was championed by State Reps. Tim Barhorst (R-Fort Loramie) and Ron Ferguson (R-Wintersville), who are about as far on the right as I am on the left. Nevertheless, this was good legislation that I was surprised made it to the finish line.

• The bad: The Legislature sent a bill to Governor Mike DeWine’s desk which would allow police departments and jails to charge up to $750 for servicing public records requests for body camera or security footage. Gary Daniels of the Ohio ACLU laid out why that’s a horrible thing that DeWine will hopefully veto.

This week in Ohio Man…

America is awash with citizens suffering from untreated mental illness. To compound that problem, it’s a country that’s also flooded with guns.

That compounded problem is exemplified in this week’s installment about the FBI fatally shooting an Ohio Man who had once tried to perform a citizen’s arrest on a doctor he claimed had played a role in infecting him with a sexually transmitted disease.

From Noelle Haynes of cleveland19.com:

SUMMIT COUNTY, Ohio (WOIO) - The FBI shot and killed a Summit County man on Friday in Gulf Shores, Alabama as agents tried to serve him a warrant.

According to the FBI, Alexander Randles, of Akron, was killed in the agent-involved shooting on Colonial Parkway in Gulf Shores, Alabama.

[…]

Randles is charged with interstate transmission of a threat to kidnap or injure.

Part of the probable cause given in the criminal complaint includes Randles' attempt to perform a citizens' arrest of a doctor in January.

At the time, Randles said the doctor falsified medical documents to conceal a deadly disease a domestic terrorist group allegedly infected him with.

America’s increasing wealth inequality means that social services will never be properly funded. And while this fella’s case might have been extreme, there will be an untold number of other Americans that inevitably fall through the cracks to disastrous results in their personal lives.

But hey, at least President Business Deals is about to cut more taxes on the oligarch class.

This week in The Rooster…

Photo by Srivenkata Subramanian on Unsplash

This week included six dispatches, not including the one you’re reading now:

• Get in the car, loser. Jimmy Haslam and State Rep. Tom Patton (R-Strongsville) vindicated the Unabomber’s stance on cars, unbeknownst to them.

• The December Mailbag. Answering burning questions from subscribers and followers about alcoholism, the Statehouse, what you want in a State Representative, and more.

• Lame Duck Luau. Previewing the last day of the 135th General Assembly.

• Bon Voyage to the 135th General Assembly. It was the most unproductive state legislature in modern history, and that was a good thing.

• Rooster Late Edition: It could have been worse. Tying up some loose ends from Lame Duck.

• The Rooster Blue Print: Here's a self-aggrandizing blog to answer a question I often get.

The only way I’ll publish six dispatches next week is if the FBI arrests several corrupt politicians, which, in Ohio, you can never rule out that possibility.

We’ll most likely have a very light schedule next week as we barrel toward the New Year. Thank you all for reading! It’s been another record-breaking year at Rooster Worldwide LLC.

THOSE WMDs. After a young woman was shot dead in Texas, a medical school harvested her body parts… 10 years later, the “Had to do it to ‘em” meme draws people to Tampa sidewalk… How RFK spearheaded a disinformation campaign that left Somoa’s children exposed… The alienation of James Cachua… Pete Hegseth’s secret history.