Shelley Meyer, the Worst Nurse in the World

Should Shelley Meyer really be in a teaching position considering the mountains of misinformation she has peddled throughout the pandemic?

Shelley Meyer, like her husband Urban, is not a good person, though they attend a local megachurch which absolves them of their many sins every week.

Like a lot of Christians, they leave church on Sunday thinking they walk with God and thus their atrocious opinions are in fact divined from The Man Himself.

Keen observers have known what kind of person the former First Lady of Ohio State Football is for a long, long time.

She attempted to cancel Colin Kaepernick for kneeling during our nation’s fight song, even going as far to insinuate Tim Tebow is a better quarterback. She has supported and amplified Kyle Lamb, a psychotic Buckeye blogger and Uber driver who peddles in conspiracy theories like Sandy Hook trutherism and the United Nations sending troops to train at the Delaware County Fairgrounds. She has peddled misinformation about late-term abortions.

She has shared a fake All-Lives-Matter post from a fake Serena Williams account. She attacked Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez over a fake tweet before deleting and admitting she’s “gullible. A lot. 😫 .”

This makes her a perfect mark for coronavirus misinformation. I no longer shame people for individual choices made during the pandemic since our government and institutional failures run deeper than the choices of a single person.

However, Mrs. Meyer is a registered nurse with a teaching position at Ohio State’s medical school. She has 46,000 followers on Twitter; many of whom take their cues from her because a lot of Ohio State fans would eat literal garbage if a Buckeye sachem told them it was part of a well-balanced breakfast.

As such, I feel the need to provide a blow-by-blow accounting of how Shelley went from “the common flu is worse than coronavirus” to “I have antibodies and shouldn’t have to wear a mask” within eight months. It highlights how coronavirus truthers have consistently moved the goalposts during the pandemic as the bodies have continued to stack atop another.

Please note these are just Shelley’s greatest hits as I couldn’t fit every tweet into a single email due to Substack’s draconian length limits.

For any of the tweets below, feel free to click the image to be taken to the source tweet. This list also doesn’t take into account her Twitter “likes,” which have included such racist phrases like, “The Wuhan Flu.”

MARCH 2020: THE FLU IS WORSE

Americans didn’t know much about coronavirus in March 2020. We were still wiping down our groceries with antibacterial wipes. However, with China building hospitals in ten days to contain the virus and Business Lover Mike DeWine beginning to issue shutdowns, the ‘rona was obviously a bigger deal than the regular flu season.

It also doesn’t take a rocket scientist, or even an expert on flu viruses, to realize why the common flu, which has been around for centuries, kills more people annually than a virus that scientists had discovered four months prior.

By the end of the month, she showcased her and Urban wearing masks before quickly noting she wasn’t actively wearing them despite “not getting that close to people anyway.”

APRIL 2020: I’M BORED AND THEY’RE JUKING THE VIRUS NUMBERS

Shelley believes anything random people tell her on the internet, without proof, as long as it fits her predetermined narrative.

By now we had already known the virus was in America much earlier than we thought, and President Trump’s CDC had silenced a virologist in Seattle sounding the alarm.

Shelley also noted she didn’t blame Trump, who was telling Americans the virus would go away “like a miracle” with warm weather, because she “didn’t want to get political.”

JULY 2020: THEY’RE STILL JUKING THE NUMBERS!

Again, she offers no evidence. In fact, we would learn seven months later that the Ohio Health Department had indeed flubbed the coronavirus numbers… by undercounting 4,000 deaths during the pandemic.

AUGUST 2020: I DON’T TRUST ANY TEST! THE BLOOD OF JESUS WILL PROTECT ME!

This is perhaps Shelley’s Pandemic Picasso tweet. By this time, it’s clear that asymptomatic carriers are a big part of pandemic spread. She galaxy brains her way out of this problem by refusing to get tested because she, the registered nurse, doesn’t trust ANY test.

That’s not a big deal when you have the Big Guy in the Sky watching your back. (It’s a bold strategy, we’ll see how it plays out for her.)

By the way, she’s still pushing the “inflated COVID numbers” lie without any evidence.

OCTOBER 2020: JIM TRESSEL AND URBAN MEYER SAY, “MASK UP, OHIO!”

It’s unclear how much, if anything, Urban Meyer got paid to shoot this commercial. But it had to have been a substantial bag considering he does not believe any of what he is saying.

NOVEMBER 2020: CORONAVIRUS ENTERS THE CHAT

FOX Sports announces their famed three-time national champion college football analyst Urban Meyer has contracted the highly contagious novel coronavirus.

Now, you might think that her husband tangling with a virus whose long-term health effects have yet to be known might humble Shelley. Kind of like how President Business Deals' advisors unsuccessfully attempted to persuade him into a more sympathetic stance on the virus after he inevitably contracted it and nearly died despite having the best medical care the human race can offer.

But no! Five days after FOX announced Urban’s infection, Shelley reappeared to push a nonsensical coronavirus study published by “the industry’s best press release distribution network” saying it’s “safe” to work out in a gym:

Truly sociopathic behavior, although unsurprising at this point. By the way, working out in a gym is a high-risk behavior for coronavirus as multiple outbreaks have been traced back to gyms throughout the country.

DECEMBER 2020: I REFUSED ALL TESTS AND ANTIBODIES MAGICALLY APPEARED IN MY BLOODSTREAM

Here we are, eight months into the pandemic, and a medical teacher still refuses to understand the simple concept of an asymptomatic carrier. How many people did she infect with her reckless behavior? Sadly we’ll never know because our country abandoned contact tracing before the pandemic spiraled out of control.

It’s also galling to see her tweet “#PleaseFollowTheScience” when she has refused to do so. For example, contracting COVID does not make you immune. As State Senator Tina Maharath has shown, it’s still possible to contract the virus more than once, but hey, it helps if you refuse to get tested under any circumstance.

Antibodies also don’t prevent you from contracting the disease again and passing it on to other people, which is why the CDC has always recommended healthy people get flu shots every year to protect the most vulnerable among us.

Later in the month she notes that “flu isn’t ‘a thing’ this year.” That’s because masks and social distancing have led to an extremely mild cold and flu season.

FEBRUARY 2020: I HAVE ANTIBODIES AND STILL HAVE TO WEAR A MASK! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

And here we have come full circle. Six months ago, she didn’t trust ANY test because the Ohio Health Department was JUKING THE STATS to overplay the threat of coronavirus.

But now that she has the antibodies — notice she’s still conflating that with being NO threat to anybody — she trusts her two negative tests because that means she can travel, probably internationally, like the reckless goofball she is.

It’s an astonishing display of dumbassery from somebody in her position, even before you account for her year-long effort to deny evidence and move the goalposts.

You’ll also notice there is not a single word about the 500,000 Americans that have perished from this virus or the many more that will as governors recklessly raise restrictions with the victory of mass vaccinations at the end of the tunnel.

Hell, it’s unclear where she’s even being forced to wear a mask at this point as the only time she’s appeared wearing one is to show off the hard work of her friend, which she quickly disavowed minutes later. She has continued to push the work of a quack doctor who got caught running assembly line medicine that cost his former employer $12 million.

Two nights ago, she returned to her general coronavirus misinformation beat. I told her to please move to Florida, as she’s a pox on our already embarrassing state. Here’s how she replied in a since-deleted tweet:

Thanks for the recommendation, Shells. But if your Jesus can’t even instill in you the decency to wear a mask to protect other people or understand basic scientific concepts during a pandemic, I’m not sure your megachurch will be much help to me. Thanks for the block, as I am now relieved of my duty to respond to your horse shit when goaded by friends who send me your most recent bile.

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