Rooster in Review: Music Man, call your office
The latest love interest of Rocky River's still-married Congressman is good for #content if nothing else.
Late last month, The Rooster broke the news about Ohio Republican Congressman Max Miller’s latest love interest, Jaclyn Faith Alatrash, a Cleveland-area nurse and professional bodybuilder.
Alatrash went through a marriage annulment in February, and she wasted little time before hard-launching Miller as her latest paramour on Instagram.
Miller, meanwhile, is still married to a daughter of Senator Bernie Moreno, though the couple has been in divorce court for months and were separated long before then.
And while there’s an argument to be made that who Miller dates in his private life is nobody’s business, there’s a better argument to be made that who he views as a life partner dovetails into his professional, public-facing duties.
For example, I feel that Miller’s constituents deserve to know his latest love interest feels unsafe around Black people in the affluent Cleveland suburb of Shaker Heights, from where Miller hails and where he infamously pushed another woman down the stairs at the local high school.
Here are some insightful texts obtained by The Rooster from Alatrash’s ex-husband:
Alatrash also faces accusations that she lied about her father losing her job with the Cleveland Rapid Transit Association due to a Parkinson’s diagnosis, when in fact he was fired for embezzling contract money.
The truth made for an awkward discovery after the then-husband had paid her parents’ mortgage for several months throughout the marriage.
Nobody is accusing Alatrash or Miller of marital infidelity. While Miller is still technically married, all signs indicate that the romance began in the months following his separation from his soon-to-be ex-wife.
Still, the Congressman represents an untold number of Black people in his district, some of whom undoubtedly voted to re-elect Miller in 2024.
There is also the interesting dichotomy of Alatrash hailing from a proud Arab family of Syrian dissent, while Miller infamously boasted that Israel was going to turn Gaza “into a parking lot” in retaliation for the Oct. 7 attack by Hamas.
We’re probably a long way from hearing the couple’s wedding bells, but should they be blessed enough to make it that far, the wedding reception could be a powder keg, especially if the free alcohol is flowing.
This week in Ohio Man…
I grew up in one of those magical households as a child, where I could put dirty dishes into a sink and they would magically transport themselves to the dishwasher before being stored in the cabinets, ready for their next use.
Maybe because of that, I can’t stand a sink stacked with dirty dishes. But thankfully, I have come to enjoy doing dishes in a house without a dishwasher. I find it relaxing, and I don’t mind doing dishes for Hilltop Husband or her son.
But I’m apparently built differently than 27-year-old Micaiah Swindler, who fatally stabbed his father over a dispute that started with dirty dishes and then called 911 with the tone of someone who had a flat tire alongside the highway.
From Orri Benatar of nbc4i.com:
911 audio revealed that Swindler called police and admitted to killing his father.
“I’m not gonna lie, I just killed my father,” he said in the call. After telling the dispatcher his name and saying he intended to cause his father harm, he was asked why he attacked his father.
“God told me to,” he said.
Swindler was taken to Tri-County Regional Jail and on Tuesday he was issued a $1 million bond at an arraignment hearing in Marysville Municipal Court. He is next scheduled to appear in court on May 1 for a preliminary hearing.
I’m actually not a practicing lawyer, which might surprise you given that I graduated cum laude from the prestigious Twitter Law University.
However, I don’t think a jury will find “God told me to” to be a convincing legal defense for why you stabbed your father over dishes.
What’s sad is that I might think the younger Swindler had a point if this were a dispute with a roommate who ate nasty microwaved meals and refused to do any of the dishes, no matter how high he piled them into a sink. I’ve been there! It’s not a fun place to be.
But stabbing your father!? Nah. That’s a bridge too far, brother.
This week in The Rooster…
Another brisk week of four dispatches at Rooster Worldwide LLC. We’ll continue the same schedule next week when the Ohio Legislature returns from Easter vacation—May God help us all.
The allure of the stooge. Gerrymandering, term limits and the reign of suspected terorrist Matt Huffman spell nothing but bad news for the already thin intellectual caliber of the House of the House of Representatives.
How Israel’s war on Gaza brought Cleveland politics to a standstill. Parma Sean returns to The Rooster for Part 1 os his examination of how Israel’s slaughter in Gaza has caused massive headaches for Cleveland’s political establishment. This dispatch is free for all.
Cleveland leadership’s silence on Gaza, explained. Parma Sean returns for Part 2, which looks at how the Israeli lobby and Cuyahoga County’s investment in Israel bonds have clouded the moral vision of Cleveland’s political leadership. This dispatch is free for all.
High times on the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court hears arguments on a man accused of being high while hitting a Highway Patrolman in his car, the HB-6 investigation takes a new turn, and Ohio State fails the kinds of international students that saved the institution from financial ruin amid the Great Recession.
I’m particularly proud to publish the Parma Sean dispatches, because I feel that they’re the type of journalism that other establishments would never touch for a host of reasons.
If you (or anyone you know) has an Ohio-based story to share, please don't hesitate to pitch it to me. I can’t promise you’ll be paid in bricks of gold for your labor, but unlike most publications, you’ll be paid in full before the publishing date of your piece.
Anonymity can be granted to those with the goods.
Until then…. we’ll do it at the same time and place next week.
Stay frosty, my friends!
THOSE WMDs. The anti-feminist mediasphere telling women to be thin, fertile and Republican… Scamming Pizza Hut was a family tradition, and I have no regrets… A ticking clock on American freedom… How Poker’s Black Friday cost players millions and changed the online sport forever… AI is coming for music, too.