Rooster in Review: We've gone national, folks

Apparently, I've been mispronouncing the word "triage" my whole life. Who knew?

The rumors were indeed true: I appeared on the latest episode of Chapo Trap House, the premiere Dirtbag Leftist podcast in America. We talked about Ohio’s storied political corruption, if you can believe that.

You’ll have to subscribe to Chapo’s Patreon to hear the audio. I’ll talk to the fellas a little later to see if I can release the audio for free in a couple of weeks when the hype dies down, but it’s certainly worth the $4.20 to subscribe for a month.

My husband has been kicking my ass lately about mispronouncing words. She says I can’t blame it on reading words and never hearing them pronounced—it’s that I don’t care. Maybe she’s right? I think I’m good at pronouncing words, honestly. But that’s why I’m a writer and not a TV pervert.

Anyway, I say all that to say I apparently mispronounced “triage” on the show. It’s a French word, and I bastardized it with my Marionaire honkey hog talk. Oh well! We don’t really use words like that on the West Side of Columbus. Not my problem anymore.

Other topics on the show included HB-6, ECOT, Mayor Coleman banging a Chinese spy while the FBI watched, Cincinnati’s corrupt city council, and more! I got into the weeds a little bit, which is bad news for Ohio casuals but great news for brave and noble subscribers to The Rooster.

Anyway, there has never been a better time to subscribe and help sustain the work of putting psychic damage on Ohio’s hobgoblin class. I’ve got a patriots-only dispatch on tap for Monday that should be worth the price of admission.

This week in Ohio Man…

I used to live across the street from the Kroger on Parsons Avenue. The parking lot, like many other Krogers, was a dystopian wasteland of human conflict that routinely started over parking spaces.

As I wrote in today’s dispatch, regularly operating motor vehicles does sick and twisted things to your mind. You see certain spaces as inherently your domain and nobody else’s—even other motorists.

We saw an example of that on the glorious Hilltop this week.

From 10tv.com:

COLUMBUS, Ohio — A man was arrested Monday evening after he allegedly cut a man who had parked in front of his home in the Hilltop neighborhood with a machete, according to court documents.

The incident happened in the 300 block of Clarendon Avenue Monday afternoon. Officers with the Columbus Division of Police were called to the area on a report of a stabbing.

When they arrived, they talked to the victim who told officers that he parked his vehicle in front of a home on Clarendon Avenue. The victim said that the resident, later identified as 64-year-old Michael Lee, was upset that he parked in front of his house.

Few sights are more harrowing in Columbus than seeing a Westside soldier armed with a machete and sprinting toward you.

I’m glad nobody died… but Mr. Lee, who was probably having a bad day before this incident, should recognize that strangers parking in front of your house is the price of the big city.

This week in The Rooster…

It was another brisk week of business for Rooster Worldwide LLC. I’d like to thank the readers who voted for new editorial freedom in sending Tuesday and Thursday dispatch if the news permits. We certainly hit paydirt with Tuesday’s dispatch about rogue School Board member Brandon Simmons.

• It’s time to end the menace known as Taco Fest. It sucks every year! And this year, it devolved into gangs of teenagers fighting with pocket knives. The city should find some organizers that actually know what they’re doing.

• Alleged drunk driver and occasional School Board member pens insanely illegal anti-union manifesto. A special Tuesday dispatch in which The Rooster beat every local media outlet to the story of Brandon Simmons, the freshman Board member whose anti-union planned called for stoking racial divisions between district employees.

• The Rooster’s May Mailbag. Debuting the City Council Power Rankings, what I’d do for the brand with a blank check, how I’ve avoided a lifetime prison sentence, and more burning questions from The Patriots Caucus.

• Tick tick tick, Sleepy Tea! The Los Angeles County Employees Retirement Association is hot on the trail of Governor Sleepy Tea and assorted henchmen, while national Democrats need to get serious about circumventing the Ohio Republican Party to get Joe Biden on the November ballot… and more!

An ad in the Indianapolis Star in 1926.

THOSE WMDs. The graying gig economy… Oracle’s deadly gamble… Right-wing media and the death of an Alabama pastor… Slaughterhouses in Mexico: An investigation into the heart of the industry… When dying patients want unproven drugs.