Rooster in Review: Even the British are laughing at us

It's never good for Ohio when our state makes international news.

I have a hard and fast rule in covering Ohio politics: Whenever a story goes international, it will almost always be highly embarrassing for our polluted backwater outpost.

And that rang true again this week when The Guardian waded into the ongoing Intel debacle.

Intel shares fell by 60% last year, with the company besieged by competition from Nvidia and problems emerging around its advanced 18A artificial intelligence chips. In November, it lost its spot on the Dow Jones Industrial Average after vowing in August to cut 15,000 jobs or 15% of its global workforce.

Lawsuits and accusations of complacency at what was at one time a world leader in chip manufacturing have shaken the company to its foundations. Rumors abound that the company may be broken up and sold to its rivals.

Now, that instability is being keenly felt here in Ohio.

Construction on the first of its two fabrication plants, meant to herald a new manufacturing age for the so-called Rust belt region, was supposed to finish later this year, but last year, that was pushed back to 2026-27. Then on 28 February, the dates were put back again, this time to 2030-31.

While that may be bad news for Intel investors and stockholders, it’s equally troubling for residents and community leaders in Licking county, who are set to find themselves dealing with construction works for another five years.

In my opinion, the best-case scenario for the Intel plant is that Intell sells a much smaller project to some other company. And maybe that will come to fruition.

Still, it’s another bang-up job by JobsOhio, the liquor slush fund and sinecure racket that has already doled out $600 million to Intel for a plant that is nowhere near completion.

When you combine that number with the $1 billion about to be given to the Cleveland Browns, a semi-professional football team that won three games last season, then suddenly you start to realize how easily our public schools could be funded if that was something the state legislature gave a damn about.

Click the image to join the most feared cabal in Ohio politics.

The Patriots Caucus is on the move!

Earlier this week, I unveiled another perk for subscribers in the long-awaited Statehouse tour.

I promise these tours will be a unique experience that will hopefully make you laugh a few times and teach you at least one interesting fact about our state government’s seat of power.

You can access the tour portal in Wednesday’s dispatch if you're already a paid subscriber.

This week in Ohio Man…

Aaron Holston Jr. of Pickerington in a picture provided by family to Myrtle Beach Online.

I don’t understand Myrtle Beach's appeal, but there’s a class of Ohioans who love nothing more than vacationing on the South Carolina coast.

It’s not for me, and that was even reading about an Ohio Man who died when a security guard shot his car 20 times in a dispute over a parking spot.

From Terri Richardson of myrtlebeachonline.com:

[Aaron Holston Jr., a 23-year-old] Pickerington, Ohio, man had been shot and killed Feb. 4 while sitting in his vehicle outside the Driftwood by Sea Mist Resort at 1207 S. Ocean Blvd. T

The shooter, according to family, was a resort security guard, who allegedly fired 20 rounds into Holston’s vehicle.

Holston is accused of hitting the security guard with his vehicle after he was asked to move from a handicap parking space in the resort’s parking lot, family said. Another person was also injured that night, but Myrtle Beach Police have not said who.

There are two police reports; however, they offer few details about what happened that night.

This is where we need video because the word “hit” can mean a lot of different things.

Still, it’s hard to believe that somebody moving from a parking spot “hit” a security guard in a way that warranted 20 shots into the driver’s car.

But given that Holston was Black and private security guards are seen as “law enforcement,” you start to have the makings of a sad, sad story.

This week in The Rooster…

Photo by Livia Widjaja on Unsplash

Another hectic week is in the books at Rooster Worldwide LLC, where we delivered four dispatches in place of the promised three:

• Tiara Ross suspected of cheating in prestigious law school competition. The hits keep coming for the Franklin County Democratic Party’s ordained City Council District 7 candidate.

• The show goes on. The State of the State is one of my favorite days on the Ohio political calendar because I am a disgusting man with a broken brain.

• Realizing your God-given potential. The freaks were barking on Capitol Hill, with an additional report of a suspected Holy Roller swinger couple while Josh Williams threw Derek Merrin under the bus (twice).

• Won’t somebody think of the disgustingly rich crackers? House Speaker Matt Huffman took food out of hungry kids’ mouths to finance a sweetheart deal for a football team that won three games last season.

We’ll do it again next week at the same time and place.

Stay frosty, my friends!

THOSE WMDs. Poor sleep can make you susceptible to conspiracy theories… America’s Christian Right is coming to the United Kingdom… His daughter was America’s first Measles death in a decade… An underwear maker, his boy models and the man who tried to stop him… With Lake Mead drying up due to drought and climate change, the famous desert reservoir is revealing grisly secrets from the past.