Here comes the fun

Enlisting brave and noble soldiers of the Patriots Caucus to help craft the next stage of the battle plan for Rooster Worldwide LLC.

Brave and noble soldiers of The Patriots Caucus on the move.

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I recently convened a high table of my most capitalist-minded friends. The problem was simple: The Rooster, once the product of an entertaining albeit self-destructive drunkard, had evolved past my wildest dreams into a respectable business operation with high growth potential.

The truth is, I’m in the empire business. And I try to say that in the least egotistical way possible. But as somebody who once wanted nothing more than to be a gumshoe journalist at a local newspaper, I’ve watched in dismay over the past 20 years as private equity and C-suite assholes have mismanaged once-proud legacy outlets to the detriment of the general public.

The Rooster is my response to that ilk. I’m not the man a lot of people want, but frankly, I’m the reformed scumbag that they need.

But back in reality, it’s as special correspondent Max Littman said with a chuckle about me: “You’re just not a capitalist at heart, D.J.” And it’s true. I’ve run this business on nothing more than vibes and instinct.

Much to the chagrin of the haters and losers, of which there are many, the Business Line has continued its ascent:

August 1st, 2022 is when I officially retired from alcohol, and you can see what that’s done for my business if anyone out there is looking for inspiration to kick the sauce to the curb. You won’t regret it!

But I’m proud of that consistent growth because I don’t look at traffic data. I don’t look at new subscribers or unsubscribers. I don’t have a boss guiding my coverage. I’ve had this humble success by staying true to the Tao of the Poster, which, for better or worse, was forged into my DNA while perusing EverQuest forums in the late 1990s.

I always planned to look under the hood if The Business Line ever went the wrong way for an extended amount of time. But now, with all but the biggest sickos poised to check out for the summer, I figured this window offered the perfect time to engage stakeholders and solicit their feedback so this war machine is well-oiled for the content bonanza that will be this fall with the coming state and federal elections.

Custom Statehouse tours for paying subscribers will start in approximately two months when my ankle is properly healed. Until then, I have some more ideas, and I’d like to take a read of the room about them.

Contracting new voices to detail Ohio’s depravity

When Rooster Worldwide LLC replaces my personal bank account in the coming weeks, I’ll establish a freelance rate for articles anywhere from 800 to 2,000 words. It won’t be bricks of gold, but it will be more than so-called “exposure.”

I’ve tried adding new voices in the past and even contracted some articles that excited me. Unfortunately, the pattern was that I’d say something like, “Oh, get it to me whenever your schedule permits. No worries!” and then I’d never hear from them about it again.

I don’t envy them, as that’s something I would do if my financial well-being weren’t chained to this ship.

But one Twitter user said last night—Hey man, how about trying this one weird trick and giving them deadlines? Again, that’s me learning to be a capitalist since they’re doing me a favor. But obviously, I have to be more firm about deadlines, especially since I’ll be paying freelancers before I publish their work, which is something outlets much more significant and much richer than me never seem to do.

So, if you have a killer idea about anything Ohio-related, keep it in mind. If you know anyone who might be looking for a side gig, feel free to put this on their radar. The nice thing about The Rooster is that the scope of work is broad, and good writing can persuade me into running pieces that usually wouldn’t interest me.

And yes, I’ll allow writers to stay anonymous through chosen nom de plumes and let their writing speak for themselves because some fresh voices will be like a Caribbean breeze, especially in the summer months.

Increasing mailbag frequency

One idea that the high table concurred on was increasing the number of mailbags. I thought this was a good idea because I’m always looking to outsource my work to other people.

But the business sages were right—there’s a reason almost every newsletter uses the template. It works! It also gives me a way to engage with readers and answer their questions in a way that informs the masses.

Currently, I run a mailbag every three months. You can read the last one over here. If I were to run more of them, at what frequency would you like to see?

Publishing dispatches on Tuesday and Thursday if the Ohio Legislature’s schedule calls for it

I’m big on the idea that if you’re brave and noble enough to pay for a newsletter, you should be able to set your watch on when it arrives in your mailbox.

As it’s currently slated, that’s Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 4:33 a.m. with a semi-weekly Rooster in Review sometime in the late morning or early afternoon of Friday.

I don’t want to spam your inboxes, but a lobbyist that I respect suggested a couple of weeks ago that when the Legislature is in session and moving briskly, perhaps I should also publish some missives on Tuesday and Thursday, with those days being a touch-and-feel basis.

Are surprise dispatches on Tuesday and Thursday something that may interest you? This doesn’t apply to Emergency Rooster Dispatches which come when a notorious scumbag has been arrested or indicted.

Did someone say podcast?

You might not know that The Crowcast is the No. 1 Gothic Horror & Dark Fantasy podcast on Spotify. I made that statistic up, but it sounds impressive, doesn’t it?

My problem with podcasts is that I’m a writer. I enjoy being able to collect and (somewhat) edit my thoughts before sending them out into the void. I also don’t listen to podcasts, which I planned to change on my bike rides before I broke my ankle two weeks ago.

But I hear it a lot from readers. I believe there is a space for an Ohio-based politics podcast in the free-wheeling style that has become the trademark here.

I’ve considered adding a cohost, either a conservative or moderate establishment Democrat. We could use our shared connections to bring a rotating cast of characters into the fold.

This would also require hiring a producer since I somehow went from 22 one day to 58 years old the next day, and I don’t have the time or patience to master writing, video editing, and podcast producing.

What say you?

And as for the cohost with someone funny being the No. 1 prerequisite.

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If you have any other ideas, please message me on Twitter or respond to this email. If you prefer your feedback to remain anonymous, please use the Jotform to register your opinion with Rooster Worldwide HQ.

If you’ve been on the fence about becoming a paying member of The Patriots Caucus, please consider this your official invitation.

What makes The Rooster dangerous to Ohio’s hobgoblin political cartel is that there’s no boss of ours to which they can go crying. That’s thanks to the ever-growing ranks of subscribers.

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Down goes the second loser who murdered my friend

Franklin County Judge Chris Brown sentenced Dwayne Cummings to a life sentence with a possibility of parole in 15 years last month for his role in murdering my friend Greg Coleman in September 2022.

Chrystian Foster, an accomplice in the brutal beating, suffered the same fate on Friday.

From Bethany Bruner of dispatch.com:

Before Foster was sentenced, Coleman's mother and father both spoke to Brown about seeing Coleman in the hospital and how it broke their hearts.

"My son had no idea that night that he was going to meet the devil. He didn’t only meet one, he met two," Coleman's mother, Geraldine, said.

Foster apologized for his "mistake" in speaking to Brown before being sentenced.

"He definitely deserved to be home. I never meant for any of this to happen," Foster said.

I last wrote about the ordeal in February 2023 in a dispatch entitled, An open letter to the losers who murdered my friend.

In a way, I’m almost thankful that Cummings’ and Foster’s accomplice filmed the beating and uploaded it to Facebook. The two may never have been charged with their crime without that evidence.

And without that horrible tape, we wouldn’t have irrefutable proof that after Cummings landed a sucker punch that sent my friend’s skull crashing against the High Street pavement, Foster stood over his body and repeatedly struck him in the face while calling him “a bitch.”

Even when the chips came down against him, Foster couldn’t find it within himself to admit it wasn’t a mistake. It was an act of calculated brutality.

The sucker punch, I can understand, even as cowardly as it is. But I can’t forgive punching an unconscious man seconds after he suffered a traumatic head injury and walking away like you’re the tough guy in the scenario. And that’s even before mentioning that Foster was already on bail awaiting a trial on felony weapons charges.

I don’t feel celebratory about the guilty verdicts. I’d let those two back on the street today if it brought my friend back. The best feeling I can muster is that Greg’s beautiful young daughter can enjoy the rest of her life knowing her dad’s killers are sequestered from society.

The tragedy is another reminder of how fast bad things can happen in life. The entire video of my friend’s murder was a little over a minute. And in that time, three lives were directly ruined—along with the family members and loved ones who have to live with the consequences.

I miss my friend. And I’m thankful that even though he never got to see me without alcohol wreaking havoc on my life, he died knowing we were brothers in this life and the next.

THOSE WMDs. The many faces of the fugitive who faked his own death… The trouble with Germany’s far-right informant apparatus… The crime rings stealing everything from purses to power tools… Digging holes in the ground and looking for God... The likely reason your résumé got ignored.