How to lose a Christmas card in two minutes
The freaks were barking on Capitol Square on Wednesday, and we thank them for that.
I fulfilled yesterday’s oath to go into the Ohio Swamphouse with a glint in my eye and both barrels bucking.
It was a shooting gallery of the First Amendment persuasion. The content was so bountiful that I didn’t have time to edit all the videos and write the humble newsletter that my brave and noble readers have come to know.
It’s a good problem to have, especially since the Ohio Legislature will be holding committee meetings today, after observing Veterans Day on Tuesday.
Tomorrow’s dispatch, at the very least, will include an extended, candid interview with State Rep. Mark Johnson (R-Chillicothe) about the Pixelle mill debacle and what it portends for his region.
Today’s dispatch, by contrast, will put a bow on last week’s bipartisan congressional deal, while also covering some new ground with State Rep. Brian Lorenz (R-Powell) and Senator Al Landis (R-Dover).
If you enjoy the social media presence, the on-the-ground videography, or even the occasional free dispatch in your inbox (such as today’s)—it’s all made possible by the most feared bipartisan cadre on Capitol Square.
Contrary to the nasty rumors peddled by the haters and losers, The Rooster is a 100-percent reader-supported publication. As such, we currently stand three subscribers away from a large, round number that would have seemed impossible just two years ago.
We’d be honored if three of you free-loading hogs in the parking lot quit huffing fumes and took the plunge to help the project reach that arbitrary plateau today:
Thank you for your attention to that important matter. With the self-promotion out of the way, it’s time to show what makes The Rooster the largest independently owned media project in Ohio politics.
Enjoy the show!
The Redistricting Wars, featuring Leader Isaacsohn, Chairman Stewart and Rep. Williams
Like most political perverts of the leftist persuasion, I had suspected that Senate Minority Leader “Tricky” Nickie Antonio and House Minority Leader Dani Isaacsohn had sold our interests down the river when they struck a bipartisan map deal two weeks ago tonight.
That instinct proved wrong when I reviewed the map with a Republican source within minutes of breaking the news about the deal. Any residual distrust evaporated after I spoke directly with Republicans and Democrats involved in the negotiations and weighed the outcome against the national redistricting fight.
As luck would have it, Leader Isaacsohn was one of the first politicians I encountered in the hallways on Wednesday.
And while I knew the Yale-educated lawyer could deliver a fine speech, I was curious to see if he could engage in a casual, no-holds-barred conversation—a type of medium that has befuddled similarly educated Democrats on the national level.
The benefit of filming these interviews and posting them in full is that people can come to their own conclusions. But, in my opinion, Isaacsohn soared in the interview, even deftly handling pointed questions bout Congressman Greg Landsman and the underhanded threat that he wouldn’t “fuck” Isaacsohn over his new, ostensibly more Republican-indexed district.
Isaacsohn even doubled back after our interview to apologize to the activists who chanted “Shame!” at him after he voted for a Republican gerrymandered map.
That being said, I will note that he didn’t deny an interest in running for mayor in 2029 when I gave him the opportunity to do so.
Still, I’m pleased with this interview because it allowed Isaacsohn to showcase his wits outside of a prepared stump speech or press gaggle. And I particularly liked his response about it being a privilege to be in a position to make a high-stakes decision, even if it led to (what I described as) unfair blowback on him.
That is how a leader is supposed to sound.
On the Republican side, I talked to House Finance Chairman Brian Stewart, who served as pointman for Speaker Matt Huffman on the Redistricting Commission:
I could make a joke here about Stewart’s looks breaking my camera. But the truth is that he caught me at an inopportune time, and I had to use my iPhone on the fly.
In my haste, I forgot the cardinal rule of cleaning my lens before I hit the “record” button.
That’s my bad! More importantly, however, it was the intern’s bad, and they have since been fired like a dog.
As for Stewart, I enjoyed his allegation that I was running cover for the Democratic team. If there’s one thing that I’m known for, it’s definitely shilling for establishment Democrats.
Curiously, however, Stewart refused to discuss Senate President Rob McColley spearheading the bipartisan deal in exchange for a new sweetheart Congressional district, or the last-minute attempts by angry Republicans to torpedo the deal with an alternative map.
It makes you think, that’s for sure.
After the Stewart interview, I caught Rep. Williams also leaving the Judicial Committee. Williams did that hilarious thing that Republicans sometimes do, where they pretend to care about toothless ethics laws about “talking politics” inside the Statehouse.
I said that’s fine, we can talk in the shade of the parking garage while you walk to this oh-so-important meeting.
And to Williams’ credit, that’s what we did, even if I felt he was walking a lot faster than normal:
Williams can say what he wants.
His team was irate over the way McColley strong-armed 90,000 of his voters into the new 9th Congressional District, as well as how his allies lied about the White House's approval of the deal to quell a last-minute Republican rebellion.
They hope that the subterfuge will lead to Trump endorsing Williams. Regardless, that game-changing endorsement, if it comes, won’t be coming any time soon. And if it doesn’t, Williams and former State Rep. Derek Merrin will still face the prospect of splitting votes in Lucas County while McColley consolidates power in Henry County.
That bitter infighting will benefit nobody more than the Iron Babushka herself, longtime Democratic Congresswoman Marcy Kaptur, especially as Donald Trump becomes more unpopular by the day.
I think Rep. Brian Lorenz took me off his Christmas card list
On Tuesday night, a patriot messaged me regarding State Rep. Brian Lorenz and HB-17, his legislation that would give tax breaks to Ohioans wealthy enough to build “condos” for their cars.
Chip Vance is the President of Auto Assets in Dublin, Ohio. He has donated $2,041.02 to Lorenz’s campaign in the past two years.
It’s not an earth-shattering amount by any means. But I decided to press the issue with Lorenz, and he handled it about as horribly as any politician I have ever seen.
Lorenz contended that he’s not giving tax breaks to wealthy Ohioans with car condos, but rather bringing their taxes “in line” with a uniform code. He also described Vance as a longtime friend, a campaign donor, and someone wealthy enough to own a “car condo.”
I suspect that Lorenz was having a bad day before he saw my Irish potato head bobbling toward him because he snapped like a twig under basic questioning.
Because even more baffling than his initial response, Lorenz doubled back and berated me for “going at him like that,” before he dropped his wireless headphones to the ground.
If you listen closely, you can hear Lorenz incredulously angry about “what I did to his son,” even though I apologized.
For the record, I did make a quip about his son looking like he had “one too many beers” in a picture with his father and notorious conman Vivek Ramaswamy outside an Ohio State football game.
Unbeknownst to me at the time, Lorenz’s son is autistic.
Once State Rep. Tim Barhorst alerted me to the fact, I deleted my tweet and said I’d apologize to Lorenz in person the next time I saw him.
Which is precisely what I did, with Barhorst watching, and as Lorenz attested in the above video.
Lorenz was gracious to accept my apology. He didn’t have to do that, even if I never would have made the joke had I known the facts of his situation.
But I don’t think that one mistake, which I apologized for, somehow gives him a blanket pass about legislation that he admits would benefit his longtime friend and campaign donor, especially on an esoteric issue like “car condos” that affects a handful of rich perverts.
Senator Al Landis on blocking SNAP relief while his daughter crowdsources survival tactics
Later in the day, I debuted a new hiding spot outside the Senate chamber in an attempt to bust up Senator Al Landis before the session.
Landis walked right into the ambush.
And I swear there was about a second where I thought he was going to punch my waterlogged melon head when I asked him why he blocked SNAP relief while his daughter was crowdsourcing survival tactics on Facebook.
If only I had been so lucky, that lawsuit would have already been filed. Alas.
As for Landis, I don’t believe the rumors of his mental decline to be true.
He carried himself well during the encounter from a cogency standpoint, even if I’ll never wrap my head around the reactionary mind that allows him to sit on a $4 billion rainy day fund while his own flesh and blood looks to Facebook for survival tactics.
If anybody in that region can put me in touch with Landis’ daughter, please let me know. I’ll gladly activate my 100,000 followers, and we’ll get her the money that her father apparently doesn’t think she deserves.
THOSE WMDs. The mysterious math behind the Brazilian Butt Lift… Laura Loomer’s endless payback…I wanted an abortion, and then my friends tried to stop me… He’s been charged with a dozen crimes, but nobody knows his name… My adventures in alt-right dating.