Ohio Primary 2026: Questions that need answered
Here's what The Rooster will be observing as Ohio's hog voters head to the polls on Tuesday to cast their primary ballots.
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It’s Election Day in Ohio, where herds of hardcore political perverts will head to the polls to shape government for a state of 11 million already-damned souls.
God help us all, but The Rooster is going to attempt what the youth call a “live stream” tonight at 7:30 p.m. ET as election results roll in across the state.
You can access that stream here. I’ll also be looking into simulcasting on YouTube for anyone who doesn’t want to download the Substack app.
It’s my first attempt to stream, so I assume there will be several errors and learning experiences. But assuming it doesn’t end with me throwing my computer into a river, it is something I’ll look to add to my repertoire for big events in the future.
Come hang if you want. I’ll need guest commentary from willing patriots during what’s expected to be a 150-minute broadcast.
I’ve never voted for a Republican, let alone in a primary. But on the Ohio Democratic side, The Rooster is pushing Dr. Bryan Hambley for Secretary of State and John Kulewicz for Attorney General.
If you’re in Columbus, please vote for YES on ISSUE #5, which will allow medical professionals to respond to mental health crises in the city.
If you’re a fan of The Rooster’s social media presence, on-the-ground videography or even the occasional free dispatch—that’s all made possible by the brave and noble soldiers in the Patriots Caucus.
We’d be honored if you took this moment to consider a subscription to help sustain the operation that Ohio’s corrupt political class won’t stop reading, no matter how much they cry about it.
And now, without further ado, let’s get on with the show!
How much sway do social media Neo-Nazis have among Ohio’s Republican hog voters?
Never forget: Over 235,000 of Ohio’s most accursed minds wanted to make Joe Blystone governor in 2022.
Blystone, for the unfamiliar, was a racist grifter who apparently stole his dead wife’s family farm before running for governor on a platform of having a beard, several flannel shirts, and a 10-gallon cowboy hat.
He is currently barred from running for office for three more years due to campaign finance violations, which offers insight into his borderline criminal campaign that ran afoul of Ohio’s notoriously lax campaign finance regulations.
In my opinion, the “Blystone Baseline” is the starting point for upstart Republican gubernatorial candidate Casey Putsch against notorious conman Vivek Ramaswamy.
Is Putsch a Neo-Nazi? Well, a lot of his most rabid online fans seem to think so.
Putsch, for his part, called Hitler “a bad painter” when The Rooster asked him to say one negative thing about the dead genocidal dictator Adolf Hitler.
I made a bet over a Deli Licious sandwich with a Capitol Square Holy Roller last month. I bet that Putsch, a Nazi-signaling YouTuber in the most charitable light, will earn 33% of the Republican vote.
The Holy Roller took the under, later explaining he thought Putsch would net 15-20% from the “racist fringe.”
I’d argue that 20 percent of a party’s vote is far from a “fringe.” But that’s a topic for a different blog.
Until then, compare elected Republicans’ faux outrage to long-shot Ohio Democratic Attorney General candidate Elliot Forhan saying he’d legally kill Donald Trump to their silence about Putsch calling their party’s apparent standard-bearer a philandering Hindu anchor baby who yearns to replace hard-working crackers with Indian imports.
It’s because they know, in their hearts, that Putsch represents the base of the party more than Ramaswamy ever could.
Ramaswamy will win. But the casual observer will probably be shocked by the number of Ohioans who would turn the state over to egotistical YouTube vermin, Neo-Nazi or not.
Good god, that’s Mr. Mayor’s music!
It probably seemed so easy to increasingly insignificant swamp creature Bobby Paduchik in November.
Longtime readers of The Rooster will remember the behind-the-scenes reporting that detailed how Paduchik, a longtime Ohio Republican operative, coordinated with Senate President Rob McColley to leverage the state’s redistricting process
Their efforts to ensure Ohio 9th’s Congressional District—currently held by the Iron Babushka, Congresswoman Marcy Kaptur (D-Toledo)—as favorable as possible to McColley, whom Paduchik was recruiting to run in the new district.
Paduchik’s plan resulted in a bipartisan map deal that Ohio Democrats would have been foolish to walk away from, even before the Supreme Court gutted the Voting Rights Act.
McColley chose not to run for Congress, a decision that only looked wise after The Rooster and a brave woman nuked Josh Mandel as Ramaswamy’s running mate from orbit.
Paduchik, knowing he wouldn’t make a cent on State Rep. Josh Williams’ Congressional campaign, went and recruited Madison Sheahan, the former No. 2 at the Department of Homeland Security under since-disgraced Secretary Kristi Noem.
Sheahan’s campaign never got started, despite a bizarre endorsement from Le Papa de Dublin and a last-ditch infusion of campaign cash from her old stomping grounds in Louisiana.
Meanwhile, Derek Merrin showed why he could never be ruled out despite an embarrassing failure in 2024 with President Business Deals atop the ticket.
He’s been on the ballot since 19-years-old in Lucas County, the population bedrock of the district. He has his late father’s Baptist network to whip up votes.
Mr. Mayor is going to carry the day, which is more proof that the Iron Babushka might have been Jesus in her past life. Any Republican that emerged from that dinosaur-sized pile of shit would have been a flawed candidate in a General Election.
That it’s Merrin—a weird, uncharismatic doofus who lives off his daddy’s real estate investments that was already rejected by hog voters in a Trump year—will have the Iron Babushka sipping a microwaved glass of her finest milk at about 7:15 p.m. before bed.
Can Speaker John Doe #3 topple his longtime Republican enemies?
The Republican-dominated State Legislature gerrymandered Ohio with laser precision to protect itself from the type of ballot-box rebellion that we appear headed toward in November.
It’s impossible for Statehouse Democrats to topple the Republican majorities, barring some sort of alien invasion or Evangelical rapture.
But it’s possible a couple or a few House Republicans could eat shit in November. And if that happens, Speaker Matt Huffman (R-Lima) could face questions from his most beautiful members over resources spent against two incumbents in May.
Huffman is trying to unseat two men who loathe each other in State Reps. Jason Stephens (R-Kitts Hill) and Ron Ferguson (R-Wintersville).
In fact, Ferguson spent two years trying to unseat Stephens as Speaker. Before he accomplished that goal, he had a predictable fallout with a self-styled king in Huffman.
Now, Huffman, who has never supplied a solid alibi for April 19, 1995, has both in their crosshairs—with DraftKings’ dark money group “American Conservative Fund” financing enough advertising money for Ferguson’s opponent (former State Senator Frank Hoagland) to alter Jefferson County’s GDP by double digits.
Stephens, according to most of my right-wing sources, should be re-elected after the “Blue 22” attacks failed to land against him last cycle. His opponent, Larry Kidd, is a very low-energy Chamber of Commerce-type Republican.
Ferguson’s fate is more of an unknown. Hoagland is a former NAVY SEAL who apparently was the last person that Colombian cocaine kingpin Pablo Escobar saw alive, and he’s been pushing an allegation that Ferguson’s family housed an undocumented Guatemalan worker in one of their myriad of rental properties.
I’m hoping Ferguson emerges victorious. We don’t agree on much, but I appreciated him leading the charge against the State Legislature looting the Unclaimed Property Fund for $1.7 billion to fund billionaire sports arenas.
The seat is safely Republican, so if it’s going to be held by a member of that party, I’d at least welcome it going to someone Huffman hates to see coming almost as much as me.
How much will Republican hog voters value a slave shackle against the endorsement of Vice President Boss Baby?
The oddly contentious Republican State Treasurer primary is a win-win for me.
That might be weird to read, considering my past encounters with former House Finance chairman Jay Edwards, who supports unionized workers as much as any Republican possibly can.
And yes, I expect Edwards to beat State Senator Kristina Roegner, who is a “stone-cold geeky freak” who displayed a self-described “African artifact” on her mantle in a since-deleted Facebook post:
The singular silver lining to Edwards losing would be exposing Vice President J.D. Vance as not having enough juice among his home state’s hog voters to put his chosen candidate over the top in a State Treasurer primary.
That would only bode badly for Vance’s chances of holding Secretary of State Marco Rubio at bay in the 2028 presidential election.
How much will the tsunami of corporate cash matter against Ed FitzGerald’s political comeback tour?
The hottest Democratic Congressional primary is happening in District 7, with two wildly different men looking to face Congressman Max “Music Man” Miller (R-Bay Village) in November.
If any incumbent Congressional Republican loses in Ohio this year, it will be the Music Man, who just got caught lying in court about a fictitious domestic violence incident against his ex-wife, who is also calling him a deadbeat.
The result will offer insight into the current state of the Democratic Party’s base.
In one corner, former Cuyahoga County Executive Ed FitzGerald is hot on the comeback trail. His scandals from his failed 2014 gubernatorial campaign look quaint in retrospect.
In the other corner is political newcomer Brian Poindexter, a union ironworker with the backing of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee in Washington D.C.
Last week, The Rooster relayed a report from a trusted patriot on Capitol Hill that the DCCC had started sweating if Poindexter could get over the finish line.
Since then, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders has appeared in the district to throw his arm around his endorsed candidate.
As The Angry Democrat originally reported a couple of days ago, outside groups—largely the same corporate entities building data centers—have funneled over $600,000 to Poindexter’s campaign, which undercuts his anti-billionaire messaging for anyone keeping score at home, which admittedly won’t be many people.
According to one well-connected source, the Cuyahoga County Democratic Party also wanted to endorse Poindexter in hopes of denying FitzGerald his prize, but they were overruled by Ohio Democratic Party chairwoman Kathleen Clyde.
How much will union-busting hurt Upper Arlington Mayor Ukeme Awakessian Jeter?
The most brutal Columbus-area Statehouse race is in Ohio House District 7, a three-way Democratic primary among Upper Arlington Mayor Ukeme Awakessian Jeter, Ohio Justice & Policy Center Policy Director Michaela Burriss, and political newcomer Dr. Zach Rossfeld.
The seat is currently held by term-limited State Rep. Allison Russo, who, according to multiple sources, attempted to flip seats with State Senator Bill DeMora before ultimately running for Secretary of State.
DeMora is said to have rebuffed the offer because he “didn’t want to deal with Upper Arlington.”
Prescient words!
The Rooster broke the story about Union Bustin’ Ukeme last week. “Check the source!” her supporters howled.
“The Rooster is a gossip blogger and can’t be trusted!”
Yes. Well… roughly 24 hours later, George Shillcock of WOSU posted his own reporting:
“The Upper Arlington City Manager and his staff used taxpayer funds to run an anti-union campaign on city time and with city resources. They sent anti-union materials to the homes of workers, encouraged employees to call them to talk about unions on work time, and were recorded by workers pushing their anti-union agenda,” Teamsters President Mark Vandak said.
Vandak said the union repeatedly requested that Jeter authorize an independent investigation of their conduct, but that she has failed to authorize an investigation or even respond to the union’s request.
Unsurprisingly, organized labor unanimously endorsed Burriss.
Meanwhile, Dr. Rossfeld is the only candidate from Clintonville, another highly educated area with robust voter turnout.
If he could consolidate neighborhood support, that’d spell trouble for Jeter and Burriss, who will split the Upper Arlington vote by some margin.
Curtains for the Ohio Legislature’s most diabolical duo?
For years, I’ve said OhioNavyMom61 aka State Rep. Beth Lear (R-Kooksville) and State Senator Andy Brenner (R-Kooksville) are the most cursed legislative tandem in Ohio politics. It’s not possible to have a worse combo, which is saying a lot.
In typical insider fashion, Lear and Brenner are trying to circumvent term limits by swapping seats, positioning themselves as the self-styled seasoned professionals who can deliver the most tangible economic results for their districts.
Unfortunately, they belong to the party that has fed conspiracy theories and racist hysteria to their voters for the past 40 years. And it would appear that the hogs have come home to roost.
Lear faces Ryan Rivers, a former Orange Township Trustee, with support from various unions and the endorsement of State Senate President-Elect Bill Reineke (R-Tiffin).
Brenner is going against businessman and former State Representative Shawn Stevens, who has accused Brenner of funding Somali immigrants while being a closeted liberal. (If only Brenner were that cool.)
In 2016, I probably would have felt queasy about seeing overt racist hysteria as an effective campaign tactic, considering I still have to live in Ohio for the foreseeable future.
In 2026? I would feel nothing but a tinge of joy while watching Lear and Brenner be trampled by the rabid hogs their party has overfed for my entire adult life.
I’m not celebrating just yet. Lear and especially Brenner have cockroach DNA, and their replacements would almost assuredly be as bad from a policy standpoint.
But their downfall would be hysterical, and sometimes, that’s all that matters in this bitter game of ours.
How much does being a troop matter to Democratic voters anymore?
I’m only ranking the battle for the Ohio 15th Congressional District primary below the Ohio 7th because defeating Republican incumbent Mike Carey is a taller task than dumping the Music Man in the dirt.
Former Ohio State professor Don Leonard carries The Rooster Complete & Total Endorsement in the 15th District, which is where I live in Hilltop Husband’s luxuriously appointed manse.
In my opinion, former State Rep. Adam Miller represents what ails the Franklin County Democratic Party, which, at its worst, is a cocktail circuit controlled by Miller, State Senator DeMora, and Chairman Mike “Big Sexy” Sexton.
If this were 2004, Miller’s military ranking would have been enough to seal the deal.
But I’m not so sure being a Colonel that served in George W. Bush’s illegal 20-year venture into Afghanistan matters that much anymore.
But I could be wrong! It’s just my soon-to-be-tested hypothesis.
Which credible Democratic statewide candidate is going home early?
In typical Ohio Democratic Party fashion, we have two viable statewide candidates competing for the same office in a year when the statewide ticket didn't fill until days before the deadline.
Had newcomer Dr. Bryan Hambley declared against State Rep. Allison Russo (D-Upper Arlington), I would have told the good doctor to hit the bricks.
But it was the other way around.
Russo chose to run against Hambley after failing to land as Sherrod Brown’s potential running mate, Tim Ryan’s potential running mate, and a last-ditch effort to swap seats with State Senator DeMora.
Her supporters would say that behind-the-scenes politicking is standard political behavior. And they would be right.
But that’s the problem!
And if our democracy is at stake, then I’m looking for somebody like Dr. Hambley, who saw the problem and got to work and didn’t wait for King Sherrod to decide if he wanted to run for governor or Senate.
Dr. Hambley carries The Rooster Complete & Total Endorsement.
Honorable mentions:
Carl Setzer vs. Bill O’Neill vs. Maria Jukic in the Ohio 14th Congressional Democratic Primary. Setzer is easily the most interesting candidate of this cycle and carries The Rooster Complete & Total Endorsement.
14th Congressional Republican incumbent Dave Joyce faces an upstart challenge from former Trumbull County Commissioner Niki Frenchko, whom Joyce’s aide derisively called “Naked Niki” for her love of nude beaches in the Caribbean. An upset isn’t likely… but it’s possible.
State Rep. Jim Hoops (R-Napoleon) vs. perennial loser Craig Riedel in Ohio Senate District 1, currently held by term-limited Senator Rob McColley.
This one turned nasty, with Riedel spending a mountain of money painting Hoops as a transgender-loving liberal. The negative advertising against the soft-spoken hoops, which included photoshopping drag queens into campaign pictures with Hoops, has seemingly backfired, giving Hoops the edge in the closing days.
Riedel owes The Rooster $1,200 (with compounding interest) for stealing a video bust-up of then-State Rep. Derek Merrin in 2024 for a Congressional campaign that he lost. Should Riedel win, he will reap the nastiness he showed to Hoops tenfold.
Unrelated, but Riedel is the subject of one of the most pointed insults I’ve ever heard on Capitol Square, from a lobbyist: “Riedel is a nice guy. But it’s amazing he makes it out of his own house on most days.”
State Rep. Gary Click (R-Vickery) vs. Eric Watson, a local businessman, whose anti-data center argument is that they can “steal your thoughts” in Click’s telling.
Click is like OhioNavy61 and Brenner with cockroach blood. I know enough to know that Click is at least sweating a little bit, which, for now, is good enough for me. God help me if he goes into the blender, though.
Joe Gerard vs. Congresswoman Joyce Beatty (D-Columbus) in the Ohio 3rd Congressional District. Beatty will win, obviously, but it will be a good gauge of how much, if at all, her image has been damaged among voters over the past two years.
Late-breaking news: It’s not looking good for The Ohio State University in the Dr. Richard Strauss sex abuse case
The Rooster broke the story late last night about a new filing in the Dr. Richard Strauss class action lawsuit against The Ohio State University.
