Rooster in Review: Until kingdom come
Will we get the 3C&D train? It's to be determined, according to Grandpa Sleepy Tea.
I often joke on Capitol Square that I will become a Republican once Ohio has passenger rail between Cincinnati, Columbus and Cleveland.
It’s not true, obviously. But even if it were, it’d be akin to saying that I’d become a Republican as soon as aliens arrive on Earth and cure every form of cancer.
Ohio should have a passenger rail network by now. Unfortunately for us, the No. 1 asshole himself, former Governor John Kasich, spit on federal money to build the network to send a message to Barck Obama, America’s first openly gay Muslim Marxist Kenyan president.
Kasich now gets to parade around on MSNBC as “the last sensible Republican,” because Donald Trump threw his ass in a dumpster in 2016. I truly believe that Hell is not hot enough for that man. And I’m not talking about President Business Deals.
Because it’s not like I’m asking for a free trip to the moon! I’m asking for a 19th-century technology to transport me across a largely flat terrain so I don’t have to drive or subject myself to uninsured, intoxicated idiots who can’t handle the simple task of driving their oversized SUV straight on a three-lane highway.
Will we get our beautiful trains? Well… that will likely be determined by the next governor.
From Jeremy Pelzer of cleveland.com:
DeWine, a Republican who’s term-limited in 2026, said during a Columbus Metropolitan Club event on Wednesday that while his administration successfully sought federal money to study the feasibility of Amtrak expansion in Ohio, it’s “very unlikely” that he will still be in office by the time a final decision is made.
“Some future governor, in all likelihood, and a future legislature can make a decision about whether rail transportation, passenger transportation, makes sense for the state of Ohio,” DeWine said.
Well, I guess that means I’m all in on convincing Sherrod Brown to run for governor. Because I know that notorious con artist Vivek Ramaswamy and our reactionary legislature view a passenger train as a communist plot.
But this is one big criticism about America. It takes too long to build things. We’re talking about a six-year window between Biden winning the presidency and DeWine leaving office, and in that time, the best we could manage was a feasibility study!?
Through that lens, it’s easy to see why China will overtake us as the world’s hegemonic power in my lifetime.
This week in Ohio Man…
There is a whole genre of internet content where gangs of vigilantes entrap and physically abuse various degrees of sex predators.
Frankly, it’s disgusting to me because it happens in a way that ensures the alleged predators will never be charged for their crimes. We pay various law enforcement agencies very well to handle these investigations! And it’s probably for the best, as one Zanesman man facing eight years in prison found out this week.
From Shawn Digity of the Zanesville Times-Recorder:
ZANESVILLE ‒ A vendetta went awry in December when seven Zanesville vigilantes went on a manhunt and opened fire on a man who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Jamie Joshua Jarrett, 45, just one conspirator among the circle, recently pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit murder, an amended second-degree felony.
[…]
Jarrett was originally indicted Feb. 5 for seven counts. Six felony charges, along with a three-year gun specification for the conspiracy count, were dropped as part of a plea agreement. He had also been initially charged with attempted murder, two counts of felonious assaults, two counts of discharging a firearm, and unlawful weapon transactions.
What became a manhunt around Dec. 9 originated on Swingle Street after a man allegedly sexually assaulted a female victim after she passed out from drug usage, explained Assistant Prosecuting Attorney John Litle.
Hard to feel any sympathy for the man. You play stupid games, and you win stupid prizes. It’s a story as old as time.
This week in The Rooster…
It’s been another brisk week of business at Rooster Worldwide LLC, with four dispatches instead of the normal three.
Music Man moves on: Here’s Max Miller’s latest love interest. Rocky River’s still-married Congressman is moving on with a body-building nurse coming off her own divorce in February.
When ignorance runs wild. A State Senate Education Committee hearing offers searing insight into how the dumb are dictating Ohio’s education policy.
Down goes dirty coal. It only took six years, but the HB-6 RICO legislation is off the books. Republicans say it’s a new era in how the Legislature handles business with utility companies. Consider me skeptical!
March Mailbag: The Art of the Denial. The March Mailbag answers burning questions like, is Sherrod Brown running for governor? It also deals with a from-the-top rope denial from Supreme Court Justice Jennifer Brunner about a Patriots Caucus wire report.
We seem to have a good thing going with this schedule, and it will continue until Easter break at the very least.
Until next week, my friends! Stay frosty.
THOSE WMDs. Elon Musk’s antisemitic, apartheid-loving grandfather… Science fiction predicted the rise of the tech bro oligarchy… How police let one of America’s most prolific predators get away… Trump seethes at Canada with the eyes of a predator… When Richard Nixon conspired with a foreign power to win an election.
"No one wants to ride the train." — John Kasich, 2010
Government unable to build anything (like high-speed passenger rail) is the subject of the new book, Abundance by Klein / Thompson.